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The whole world has gone insane. How else can you explain such vile remarks and attacks on my integrity from all and sundry? They don’t know they are targeting a saint like me. The developments over past few months have pained me a lot to say the least.

Once upon a time the critics called Mrs. Indira Gandhi “gungi gudiya” for her alleged inability to give rousing speeches while addressing public gatherings. I am aware of the whisper campaign currently underway that describes such an honorable man like me as “gunga guda” for my deep and contemplative silence.

After all, what is there to speak? Kapil ji, Chidambaram ji, and Digvijay ji are all the time speaking. Sometimes they bribe my peon to steal the print-outs of my speeches and  replace them with the blank A4 papers. Then they shamelessly learn these speeches by heart only to reproduce them verbatim in the TV studios much to the dismay of my spin doctors who so painfully write my speeches.

All these underhand techniques of my cabinet and party colleagues have forced me into such a remorseful silence that the whole world is heaping scorn on me. I know that my integrity is beyond reproach. The scams have been around even before my premiership. It is not that all the scams have taken place during my tenure contrary to the impression that has gained ground.

I have always made it clear that I have nothing to hide. That I am ready for any debate on the floor of parliament. That I am all for the impartial inquiry of my roles into various scams that have unfortunately tumbled out of closets during the UPA regime.

The opposition has been baying for my blood. My own cabinet colleagues are giving contradictory statements with a view to pushing me out of Madam’s good books. The social media too is trying its best to create social unrest. Whoever is making life difficult for me doesn’t know that I am the best PM the country has seen till date.

To bolster my claim, here are a few achievements. I have put the Tihar Jail on the global map. Various scams with mind numbing zeros have flourished under my premiership. All this has contributed towards many Indians becoming multimillionaires to adore the cover page of the Forbes magazine. The list is endless. I can go on and on.

The media is the direct beneficiary of all the shenanigans that have taken place during my tenure. Thanks to all the scams and communal unrest in the recent past, the media has witnessed a steady growth in its circulation, TRPs and revenues over a period of time. Poor western media – buoyed by recession – cannot see its Indian counterparts doing so well.

This is precisely why they target me thinking it will bring a turn around in their fortunes. The Time cover-page was not only silly but also in a poor taste. Nobody (here or abroad) was impressed with the lousy job Time did. Instead of me losing my (already lost) reputation, it was Time that ended up damaging its own reputation.

This western press or media doesn’t like to learn from its own mistakes. Now as I write this diary, the Washington Post seems to have shot itself in the foot by calling such a man of fine repute like yours truly as a tragic figure who has fallen from grace. Can there be anything more comic than these juvenile observations?

The scribe Mr. Simon Denyer himself is a tragic figure since all those gentlemen he has spoken to before doing this piece on me have royally taken him for a jolly ride. Poor Simon Denyer doesn’t seem to understand that without grasping the local political permutations and combinations and equations if you sit down to write something as serious as that, your sources and facts tend to get all mixed up making you look like a tragic figure in the end.

The learned gentleman has little idea that my government and the party boast of years of experience in blaming on poor “foreign hand” everything that happens in this country. Then how can this foreign hand (scribe) come back to haunt me? I am really having the last laugh now.

Before I slip back into my preferred silence mode, one word of caution for Ambika ji who has been demanding an apology from Mr. Denyer who merely did as he was asked to do. She doesn’t know that my favourite film is Yash Chopra directed super-hit “Deewar”.

To quote the famous line from my all time favourite Deewar, “First go and get the signature of that person who inked on my hand that my father is a thief”, I think in view of the ongoing predicament, it would be more appropriate if first she went and got Madam’s apology for having listened to her inner-voice way back in 2004. While she is at it, she might as well go to the voters who voted UPA to power to get their apologies.

So many apologies are required. Whatever is happening is politically motivated for which as usual a foreign hand is to be blamed. Since I am not to be blamed for anything, please offer your unconditional apologies.

 

 

 

 

 

Shah Rukh Khan is an undisputed king. This Badshah of Bollywood has got an uncanny knack of hogging the media spotlight by getting into controversies. His IPL team KKR is on fire in the current season and has emerged as one of the hot-favourites to claim the title of the champions.

Well, but Shah Rukh Khan is an actor. Acting is his sole forte. Since he is an entrepreneur, he has made his foray into the sports arena. Of late the magic of Shah Rukh Khan on the celluloid appears to be on the wane. The rival Khans have outsmarted him and now in the race of Number One they’ve left him far behind. The latest salvo is from the Aamir Khan camp in the form of a much-talked reality TV show “Satyameva Jayate”.

Obviously these latest developments have left the King Khan scratching his head. The crown is in danger of either falling off or being snatched away. His insecurity has begun to manifest itself in various ways. In the recent past he has got himself involved in a couple of scuffles. In one incident he had allegedly given a tight slap to the  poor Shirish Kunder. And in the latest incident he has bravely taken on the cops of Mumbai at the Wankhede stadium.

The allegations of Shah Rukh in inebriated condition at the stadium have flying thick and fast although the actor had categorically denied them. The million dollar question is why does Shah Rukh Khan get angry? Why is the King Khan so temperamental? What makes the Badshah of Bollywood so controversial? Has all these recent incidents of his public display of machoism got something to do with his failing charisma on the celluloid?

The competition is cut-throat in the film industry. It’s a high pressure job where every Friday determines your present status and the rightful place in the hierarchy. It is a snake and ladder game where a wrong throw of dice can plunge you into the depth of despair. In such a scenario, he seems to be making a bold statement through his off-screen actions.

By taking on the mighty cops of Mumbai in front of cameras, he has sent out a strong signal to his detractors and competitors alike. The message is “I am the King Khan and I will be back with a bang. You can keep me down for a while. But you cannot throw me out forever.” Otherwise how else can you explain his stand on the manhandling of little girls by the policemen on duty at the stadium?

He seems to have killed two birds with one stone. Aamir Khan took up the issue of the female infanticide in the inaugural episode of “Satyameva Jayte” and got the whole world talking about it. Shah Rukh soon realised that the issue of girl child is an emotive one that has tremendous potential to whip up the frenzy and hysteria. Which is why he highlighted in no uncertain terms that he was only trying to rescue the young girls from the clutches of the evil men (and thereby professing his unconditional love for the girl child).

Secondly, by taking on the men in uniform he was sounding a warning bell to Salman Khan aka Bodyguard who is all set to take the world by storm with his upcoming Ek Tha Tiger. The message for Sallubhai was it is no use acting Bodyguard or tiger on screen if in real life you’re scared of flexing your muscles. Whether both these Khans will get the messages through these actions or not remains to be seen. The fact is Shah Rukh Khan is likely to face a life-ban on his entry into the Wankhede stadium.

But the King Khan is too smart to care for such bans. He will pull a few strings in the capital and have the whole issue hushed up. Nobody will be surprised when the story of the matter between him and the cops having been amicably sorted out breaks before the IPL final complete with the pictures of the King Khan giving a big beer hug to all the policemen present on that fateful evening at Wankhede.

As they say, “As in cricket, class is permanent and form is temporary so in stardom controversies are permanent and charisma is slippery.” Are we witnessing the end of an era for the King Khan?

 

 

 

There are many talented heroines around. The show business is one such cruel business that demands one’s pound of flesh day in and day out. Nowadays it is becoming increasingly difficult for the celebs to remain in the limelight with so many juicy stories making their way into the Breaking News category.

Considering all the challenges apart from pros and cons of being a public figure, there is one celebrity who has managed to keep her head above the water. She is the very bold and beautiful, one and only Bhairavi Goswami. Recently she has been in the news following the release of her latest erotic thriller “Hate Story”. My respect for her is growing by day as I go through the retweets after retweets admiring her boldness complete with the references to the certain parts of the female anatomy.

Bhairavi Goswami has what it takes to be. She has the looks to kill and the loads of attitude – enough to convince anybody that she is a down to earth sex bomb who won’t turn her  nose up at the mention of the unmentionable body parts. She has no double standards or holier-than-thou approach when it comes to the oomph factor. Therefore it is not surprising to see the list of her admirers growing by the day.

The most outstanding quality of Bhairavi Goswami’s charisma is her ability to connect to the masses without coming across as someone who is fake and does what she’s doing for the sake of publicity. There’s pure sincerity in whatever she does be it rewarding the fans by retweeting their tweets or sharing her pictures to create excitement. At no point of time one gets the impression that she is promoting herself or her upcoming films.

The reason for such positive vibes is she believes in entertaining the masses without any artificial barriers. She reaches out to the fans in a more direct way so as to leave them delighted beyond words. All her contemporaries should learn a few tricks from her book with respect to the PR vis-a-vis the subtle art of self-promotion.

Her bio reads that Bhairavi is uncut, unedited and unapologetic. Now rarely there is anybody who carries all these three attributes with as much panache as Bhairavi does. There is a very thin line between being bold and being vulgar. Bhairavi knows not to cross that line with the caution of a seasoned professional. There have been many heroines in the past who had earned the sobriquets like “Sex Bomb” and “Sex Symbol”. But none of them has been able to carry them off so well as Bhairavi does.

She has become the hottie with a golden heart within no time. After Zeenat Aman and Mandakini, India had been in search of a genuine sex symbol. In between the likes of Bipashas and Mallikas came and went. None of them could capture the imagination of the entire nation for a long time. For a brief period of time, Rakhi Sawant tried to flirt her way into the nation’s consciousness. But the fans could see through her cheap gimmicks and soon she ended up as the butt of ridicule.

But Bhairavi Goswami is here to stay. What makes her tick (apart from her killer looks) is her pragmatic approach to handle her stardom in a balanced manner. She is always well-behaved. Hardly you come across fans complaining about her tantrums or mood swings. She has been gifted with a very understanding temperament that helps her keep her  feet on the ground. She knows the fame is transient. She ought to make the most of it as long as it lasts.

Perhaps this is what explains her calm and mature responses to the fans’ admiration for her body bordering on lust. She is aware of her USP and that’s why she wants to flaunt it boldly. Lest her fans should  be under the impression that their “Dream Girl” exists only on the celluloid that in turn exists in the darkness of the multiplexes or cinema halls. Once they step out, she is like the dream that evaporated when the eyes opened. She knows that she has successfully become the Dream Girl but the challenge is not to give away that coveted place to any of her competitors.

She is on the right path. India is mature enough to admire and appreciate the strategy of self-promotion Bhairavi Goswami has adopted. As long as she keeps her head on her shoulder, she will grown only from strength to strength. That’s Bhairavi Goswami for you – the uncut, unedited and unapologetic.

“The Dirty Picture” – as the title suggests – is not dirty at all. On the other hand, it depicts the harsh realities and certain subtle take home messages on how to strike it big by using the beautiful body if you happen to be a girl from nowhere with big dreams.

The central character played by talented Vidya Balan won the prestigious National Award for her convincing portrayal of a girl who uses her body to get on to the top of male-dominated film industry.

The flick did extremely well at the box office. But The Dirty Picture was slowly fading from the memory when the I&B Ministry decided to throw its weight to make it an even bigger bioepic than it has been being touted by its maker.

The biggest irony of the day is that the government has decided to play the moral police by stalling the telecast of The Dirty Picture during the day time. The Sony channel can telecast this flick when the young children have gone to bed.

The scantily dressed cheerleaders can dance during day time at the cricket stadium. But the children are likely to remain unaffected since their concentration is going to be only on their favourite cricketers. They hardly take their eyes off the middle out there when the game is in progress.

But when it comes to The Dirty Picture, Vidya Balan’s sexy body will induce all sorts of devilish thoughts into the young children’s minds. Therefore it is only apt that the telecast takes place only after the kids are tucked away in the beds and snoring away to glory.

This is a very nice decision on the part of I&B Ministry. The Sony Channel and the makers of The Dirty Picture are peeved at the government’s last minute intervention. But they should realise that this censorship has resulted in a truckload of publicity for their flick. Now more number of people want to watch it and find out for themselves whether what the government did is right or wrong.

It is a win-win scenario for The Dirty Picture, its makers and the Sony channel in the sense that this film is back in the news. In a battle of oneupmanship, the viewers have got plenty to whine about. They will rave and rant about the non-telecast of this steamy hot flick until something else catches their fancy in this age of social media where the attention span is as short as hundred and forty characters.

Nobody will be surprised when few minutes from now the life is back to normal and Sachin Tendulkar’s Mumbai Indians has become the talk of the town instead of some second rate The Dirty Picture. So much for the government’s intervention.

Saif Ali Khan is back in the news. Whenever any big release is around the corner, the lead actors try to get into the news and hog as much limelight as possible so that their big release gets talked about and receives good opening all across. This is an old marketing trick which by now everybody has come to know. Saif Ali Khan’s Agent Vinod is ready for the release sometime next month. Post the release of this much awaited venture, he and his lady love Kareena Kapoor are all set to tie the nuptial knot. There’s a lot at stake for this actor who lost his father recently.  Therefore it is natural for him to leave no stones unturned in making Agent Vinod the biggest hit of 2012.

The release date of this upcoming flick is exactly a month away. The publicity machinery seems to have swung into action to keep the lead actor on the front pages of newspapers and on the TV screens during prime time in the days leading to the release date. How much of these will benefit Agent Vinod remains to be seen. But the fact is these pre-release hypes make for good entertainment although the flicks in question may not prove to be as entertaining. In this age of social media the jury is constantly out and soon after watching the film promos on TV, people pretend to be intelligent enough to predict on the social media whether the film is going to be a hit or a flop.

Considering all this Agent Vinod is out to steal the thunder. His first salvo comes disguised as Iqbal Sharma – an NRI businessman – who landed up with a fractured nose for allegedly ticking off the actor who was talking loudly. This infamous brawl at a public place has got Saif Ali Khan plenty of publicity. The fractured nose of poor Iqbal Sharma has received as much attention as Shirish Kunder’s slapped face by Shah Rukh Khan. Mr. Iqbal Sharma is a wealthy businessman who has shown enough guts to walk up to the police station and lodged a complaint against this angry young man. The police too seem to have acted swiftly by booking him under a case of assault.

Everybody knows that Saif Ali Khan will be granted bail sooner or later. Mr. Iqbal Sharma and Saif Ali Khan will kiss and make up. They will bury the hatchet and become buddies.  This will be a forgotten incident as soon as the marketing team of Agent Vinod stumbles upon some other juicy idea to drum up another controversy to get the leading man yet another round of publicity ahead of the release date of Agent Vinod. People will get plenty of entertainment without watching Agent Vinod. Agent Vinod will rake in moolah and after the success of this magnum opus the leading pair will tie the knot and fly off to some far away location for their honeymoon. The whole pre-hype release of Agent Vinod has a fairy tale feel to it.

However water tight the script may read, some loose ends are there for all to see. Why would a celebrity get into a fight with a wealthy man at a public place where this disgusting act is bound to raise hackles? Agreed the fight was intended to raise hackles to garner publicity but isn’t it silly to get into a fight with an unknown man over a polite request to speak softly? Is there more to this fight than what meets the eye? Who is in need of more publicity, Saif Ali Khan or the victim Iqbal Sharma? The way celebs love publicity, their fans want 15 minutes of fame by ticking off these high flying stars. They know that they have nothing to lose but the star has everything to lose with all the TV and mobile cameras trained on him round the clock. Who knows or who can say just like Saif Ali Khan has the biggest release of his career lined up next month, the victim has some important start-up lined up sometime soon in future for which he wants instant fame? What a better way of getting famous than this? When only smart people are ruling the world, do the dumb have any chance of making it big?

The King Khan is back. And this time he’s back with a bang…oops….with a slap! Shah Rukh Khan is the most flamboyant Khan of the Khan trinity that has been ruling the Bollywood for over two decades now. In the recent past Shah Rukh Khan’s charisma is not what it used to be once. His films are flopping. His close friends are turning foes. The rumours of his alleged link-up with his Don co-star Priyanka Chopra have been doing the rounds for quite some time now. The success of his arch-rival’s Bodyguard is still fresh in King Khan’s memory. To top it all, now the news of Shah Rukh Khan having slapped or punched Shirish Kunder at a party is going viral. Thus the cup of SRK’s woes remains full.

How did this slap happen? The story behind this alleged slap is as filmy as it can get. Shirish Kunder is close to Salman Khan who doesn’t see eye to eye with the King Khan. When Ra-One was released, Shirish had tweeted certain unflattering things about the most expensive flick. Obviously this hadn’t gone down well with the hot-blooded Shah Rukh who was waiting for an opportunity to avenge this humiliation. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, King Khan went dhishum dhishum leaving poor Shirish Kunder red-faced.

But isn’t there something more to this whole slapgate than what meets the eye? Those who have been following Shah Rukh’s career will agree that slapping comes to SRK as naturally as boasting comes to KRK. Earlier on in his career he had slapped a journalist and had spent a night in a lock-up for this assault. He had allegedly indulged in dhishoom dhishoom with Amar Singh too. Off screen he is the most loved action hero. This he has proven time and again.

Come to think about poor Shirish Kunder. What he may be going through. The sound of this slap will forever echo in his ears. Wherever he goes, people will go, “Oh isn’t he the one whom SRK had given one tight slap?” His reputation has frozen in epiphany thanks to one slap. How sad! Who would like to be known by the slap he receives on his cheek in a drunken browl? That’s poor Shirish Kunder for you now.

This is certainly not a good time for the larger than life Shah Rukh Khan who seems to have hit a rough patch. Don 2 didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Younger stars like Ranbir Kapoor are stealing the limelight. Gauri Khan’s public snub to Priyanka Chopra is widely reported in the press. Differences with Karan Johar too are visible. Aamir and Salman Khan are topping the popularity charts and have been hogging the limelights for all the right reasons. Under this stressful and volatile scenario it’s natural for King Khan to feel frustrated and let loose his hands on someone like Shirish Kunder who is yet to be a big shot. The question is had there been Salman or Akshay in Shirish Kunder’s place, would SRK have dared to get physical in the same manner? If you really want to fight, why not challenge someone who is either equal or a little superior to you? This is what the Kings did in the olden days, didn’t they?

I think SRK has taken the Don dialogue about the police of 12 countries on a look out for him far too seriously. Maybe Aamir Khan needs to step up to him and whisper some wise words into King Khan’s  ears that are filled with the noisy soundtracks of Ra-One. Kings don’t behave the way King Khan has behaved. But in this cut-throat age, any publicity is good publicity. I think that sums up the entire slapgate saga for both SRK and Shirish Kunder who would never have got this type of publicity in his wildest dream. He must thank this one slap that catapulted him into the entire nation’s conscience.

We all grew up admiring Mr. Amitabh Bachchan’s Sholay, Mukkadar Ka Sikandar, Satte Pe Satta, Zanzeer, Chupke Chupke, Mahan, Kaliya, Amar Akbar Anthony, Suhag and so on and so forth. When he ruled the box office as an Angry Young Man, nobody thought he would grow old and his charisma would fade with age. There was an aura around his persona. His cult popularity made him the connoisseur of every eye. Here was a larger-than-life super star aka Angry Young Man who could do no wrong. The very name Amitabh Bachchan became synonymous with the word entertainment. This is the most remarkable achievement given the fact that he never used media to reach where he has reached. His charisma was such that he didn’t feel the need to have PR Agencies telling him what to do next during his hay days. The juggernaut of Amitabh Bachchan kept rolling till the Bofors scandal broke. The rest is a history well-chronicled, such as, his self-declared Sanyas from politics and subsequent come back into the film industry once he ruled with almost no rivals who could remotely pose any threat to his throne of super-stardom.

He was successful in making a comeback but that charisma had faded. The audiences didn’t reject their idol. At the same time, they didn’t bestow upon him the same love and adulation. The younger generation of actors were competing with him for the throne once he possessed with impunity. The emperor was old now. There was a desperate need to reinvent him. It was just a matter of time before the lenient charisma limped back to life again. The moment of glory came in the form of the game show titled Kaun Banega Crorepati.  And again the rest is history.

Mr. Amitabh Bachchan is the darling of the masses. His fans from all age groups worship him. There is no doubt that in India there was never, there is never and there will never be a bigger Super Star than Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. He is what he is. Nobody can even come near him let alone touch the heights he has scaled. But gone are the days when his die-hard fans thought he could do no wrong as he was a near perfect man. He is very much active on the various social networking sites. He regularly interacts with his fans through tweets. He keeps them up-to-date about both his work and family related progress.

There is nothing wrong in doing so. He knows that his fans and well-wishers out there may be interested in knowing about the latest goings-on in the Bachchan household. Before the media reports any important news related to his family, he wants to reach out to his fans with the news himself through twitter. One must appreciate this tactful handling of his fan base. But there is something that doesn’t make sense.

If he or his son tweets about something related to the Bachchan family, it is alright. But if the same thing or something else for that matter gets reported in the media about him or his family, he has problems. He goes hammer and tongue. Quite understandably the name Bachchan sells. Anything published about the first family of the Hindi Film Industry is bound to generate lots of public interest. At the same time people may view this news item with funny angles. The way a coin has two sides, the publicity too can be good or bad. Being one of the most popular figures of our country, why is Mr. Bachchan has this ‘my-blood-is-blood-and-your-blood-is-water’ world-view? If he claims to be as private as he is, why is he on the social networking sites in the first place? Isn’t it hypocrisy?

Now contrast this with another Super Star Aamir Khan.  The man is the ambassador of privacy if you can call him that. Everybody knows Aamir Khan surfaces only when his film is about to release. He doesn’t like too much publicity. He believes in limited exposure to keep his charisma alive. He doesn’t like to publicly talk about his private life at all. He has kept his family away from the media limelight. This was why when today the news of him becoming a father of his second wife Kiran Rao’s son arrived, many people were surprised. Very few people knew about this very private and equally delicate matter. He did a clever job of hiding this information from the media. Had he wanted, he could have declared the news on the very first day and watched all the hell breaking loose from a distance. But some men live up to their word, whereas some men never practice what they preach. We often come across the saying, “Emperor has no clothes”, and the meaning of this saying becomes clearer when we see Mr. Amitabh Bachchan in action on twitter.


@GheTa

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Wow....!!! This Much Love.....!!!!

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