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This is the time when everybody wants to prop up his or her candidate for the post of the President of India. Although this is not the most powerful post in the Indian polity, every political party wants to install their man at the helm so that when the time comes, he can return the favour.

Many out-of-work politicians throw their hats in the ring. Before they fade into the oblivion, they want to try their luck at the shot of immortality that the post of the Prez tends to offer. Having said that there are many politicians who would like to have a young President this time around who is not necessarily from the political background. The J&K CM tweeted earlier in the day to convey this message.

Now if this were to really happen, who fits the bill? India is a young country, and; the young generation would love to have a young President if given a chance. The President should be someone who is always in the news for the bold decision he takes and thereby controversies that he generates. At any given point of time half a dozen OB vans belonging to various media houses ought to be stationed outside the official residence of the Prez awaiting breaking news or some juicy stories.

Who can call a spade a spade and cope up with the pulls and pressures that are such an integral part of the life after occupying the chair of the President? Well, there is only one brave heart who can set a new precedent by becoming the President of India. That person is none other than Mr. Lalit Modi.

Mr. Lalit Modi needs no introduction. The whole world knows him. The politicians cutting across the party lines swear by his popularity. He has forever changed the face of cricket by launching the IPL and introducing the concept of franchising into the much loved sport of this country. Who can forget the initial shock waves generated by the auction of big cricketers?

If he becomes the President of India, the first thing he will do is introduce the same concept of franchising into the politics as well. Unlike IPL, this political franchises will have state wise teams. This means the number of Indian states will equal the number of political teams. Each team will be known by the name of the state it represents and not by the name the respective franchise owners choose for their respective teams.Each team will comprise of twenty five politicians from the state the team comes. International politicians will not be allowed to be a part of any team.

Imagine the high profile politicians owned by the Tatas, Birlas, Ambanis,  Khans, Adanis and Mittals of this country. Their job will be to legislate maximum laws favouring their masters. If any politicians fail to do so, his owner has every right to discard him or her before the next general elections that take place every five years.

The official residence of the President boasts of a palatial bungalow that never sees much partying or flurry of guests. But with Mr. Lalit Modi at the helm the bungalow will see as many parties as possible. After the grueling day at the Parliament he would love to relax amidst young and bubbly cheerleaders from across the country. All the franchise owners too will gather there and have a good time by socialising with one another over free flow of liquor with the liquor baron Mr. Vijay Mallya promising to provide unlimited supply of all his famous brands of whiskey and beer.

All his detractors will flee the country and live in exile when he becomes the  President. But Mr. Lalit Modi won’t indulge in any kind of political vendetta. On the other hand, he will pursue them to return to the country by rolling a red carpet upon their arrival. Mr. Modi is a kind soul who wants every human being on earth to prosper and enjoy. This is precisely why he gifted IPL to his countrymen by bringing together players, coaches and commentators from across the world.

Similarly he will bring together the politicians of all hues and cries by promising them mega bucks from their respective owners. This will foster a lot of healthy competition amongst the politicians as their prices and selection will depend purely on their performances, and not on any kind of muscle power. The party high command culture will make way for the board-room kind of culture as “shape-up-or-ship-out” will be the only motto that will come to determine the worth and usefulness of any politician worth his salt.

Finally the biggest advantage or disadvantage (depending upon the way you look at it) of Mr. Lalit Modi becoming the President of India will be that Narendra Modi will have to wait few more years to stake his claim to become the prime minister since two Modis at the helm will send out wrong signals and their common last names will create a lot of confusion amongst the visiting foreign dignitaries.

This means one Modi’s gain is another Modi’s loss. But all said and done Mr. Lalit Modi is the one man who can bring much needed glamour to the post of the President of India which it lacks as of now.

 

 

Lalit Modi is a very nice man. He has done a big favour to the cricket crazy nation like India by having launched IPL. In the process, he has made the BCCI rich, many cricketers richer and has given the film-stars a golden opportunity to stay in the limelight for all the reasons right or wrong. The name of Lalit Modi will go down in history as someone who tortured the Indian cinema goers with an utterly ridiculous flick like Ra-One. How? Had Shah Rukh Khan not bought KKR, he wouldn’t have got enough money to make Ra-One and we all would have been spared from the traumatic three hours of watching it.

Lalit Modi is the man responsible for Shashi Tharoor’s marriage to Sunanda Pushker. It was he who made things easier for the dapper Mr Tharoor by tweeting about his interest in Sunanda Pushker and setting the couple up nicely for the marital bliss. Had he not done so, Mr. Tharoor would still be pulling his hair out thinking about how to propose to Sunanda Madam. As we all know Mr Vijay Mallya’s passion for sports in general and the cheer leaders in particular, it was Lalit Modi who made it possible for him to import the scantily clad cheer leaders from the USA.

The more one talks about Lalit Modi’s favours to the world cricket and the upper strata of the society, the less it is. One has to write a book of several hundred pages to do justice to the immense contribution this man has made and continues to make even as I write this piece in his honour. Everybody wants to have a friend like Lalit Modi as he is the man of all seasons.

The icing on the cake is when Lalit Modi learnt of his poor countrymen living on a paltry sum of Rs. 28/- per day, his heart went out to those poor people. And as a result, since he is a man of action, he has decided to take a vow of a simple living by abandoning the luxurious and lavish life he has been leading until now. To make things easier for this extraordinary son of the soil, the London Court has come to the rescue by declaring him bankrupt so that he cannot change his mind at the last minute.

The word out there is he failed to pay the Page Group – an international securities and risk assessment company – the fee of Rs 53 lakhs for the services provided in the year 2010. Nobody is ready to believe this news to be true. Lalit Modi is a generous human being who gave away crores of rupees to Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shashtri just to sing the praises of IPL on air. How can such a man of impeccable integrity and sound character refuse to pay the monies for the securities and risk assessment knowing he has plenty of enemies out there?

The world has no idea how simple a person Lalit Modi is. Everybody who supported him for his IPL venture has made millions of dollars. Whereas the brain behind the venture has given it all up for his destitute fellow countrymen. Living on Rs 28 abroad is going to be a tough challenge for this 21st century saint. But he is not the one to shy away from the challenges however tough they may be. Keeping all this in mind, it is going to be really interesting to see how he pulls this-living-on-Rs.-28 per day off successfully.


@GheTa

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