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Archive for the ‘Injustice’ Category

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Who doesn’t know Manish Tewari? Manish Tewari is an I&B Union Minister. He also has a dubious distinction of trending on a popular micro blogging site Twitter on famous Bollywood actress Katrina Kaif’s birthday. The reason why he trended on Twitter on such a fateful day is once again he did what he is expert at doing. He shot his mouth off.

Everybody knows that Dr. MMS doesn’t speak at all. Manish Tewariji is a complete contrast to MMS. He speaks too much. He doesn’t try and understand whether his comments or observations are required and whether they’ll serve his party well or not. No sooner he sees camera crews from TV news channels than he starts speaking sometimes much to the chagrin of the party he represents.

On the condition of anonymity, some senior Congress leaders have admitted that a tacit understanding between ever silent PM and motor mouth Manishji does exist. It is mutually agreed by both PM and Manishji that while the former will observe an all time silence, the latter will start hyperventilating every time he comes within sniffing distance of a mike.

That said, after all who can forget his notorious jibe at Anna Hazare and his team? It was Manishji who had accused Annaji of corruption. But he had really met his match in Anna Hazare who took him to the cleaners by demanding an apology from him without delay. That public spat with Annaji helped Manishji score brownie points within his own party. This is precisely why every time Manishji suffers from the foot in the mouth disease, his party throws its full weight behind him.

But alas his luck seems to have run its course. This time around Manishji has reportedly earned the wrath of his party big wigs while taking a jibe at BJP for charging admission fee at an event in Hyderabad where Mr. Modi is the main speaker. The latest round of verbal dual between Manishji and BJP hasn’t gone down well with the party High Command. Rahul G is livid at the way BJP has attacked the central leadership of Congress on account of Manish Tewari’s potshot at Modi show in Hyderabad next month. Congress has been finding itself on back-foot ever since Mr. Modi’s elevation at the national stage. The party think tank has decided not to lock direct horns with the Gujarat CM. But Manishji has sounded the war of bugle without getting a green signal from 10 Janpath.

Rahul G has reportedly asked Manishji to avoid mikes and TV cameras until further orders. In the next party meet, Rahul G – it is learnt from the sources close to him – will welcome Manishji with a garland of five rupee currency note and advise him to keep that note as a token of appreciation for keeping his mouth shut in future.

Though many senior leaders feel that five rupee note is such a small amount for Manishji, Rahul G is believed to have convinced them by citing the fall of rupee from the grace. It remains to be seen whether Manishji will come out unscathed from his latest predicament. Those who know the gritty minister claim that this is like a storm in the tea cup for the beleaguered minister, trust him to kick off another another controversy to bring him back in the reckoning as soon as possible.

So much is happening in our country. Brave hearts are dying while undertaking rescue operations in Uttarakhand. Politicians are squabbling over who rescued how many people trapped amidst ruins. News anchors are grilling all and sundry under the comfortable guise of the-nation-wants-to-know. New films are hitting the cinema halls. Indian Cricket Team led by MS Dhoni is winning cups after cups. Rahul Gandhi is holidaying in some far flung country where nobody can reach him. The rupee is falling down at breathtaking speed. The list is long as so many things all around us are happening.

Amidst all this ha ha hoopla comes the news that the price of petrol is all set to receive yet another hike. This time around the hike is Rs 1.82 per litre. This means to say petrol became dearer once again. The timing of this news couldn’t have come at a more critical juncture. The country is yet to recover from the trauma and shock of Uttrakhand calamity in which several thousands have perished and a few hundreds have gone missing. The Congress and BJP are locked in a bitter fight over allegations of fake encounters that took place several years ago.

When nobody has time to protest or question the latest petrol hike, this hike has quietly surfaced from nowhere. And it seems that the culprits behind this latest petrol hike will go scot-free. Who cares for aam admi? A hike of few rupees isn’t a big deal anyway. The ruling party seems to cock a snook at aam admi at regular intervals by hiking the petrol price. Isn’t it worried about losing the votes of middle class? Has middle class stopped mattering to the ruling elite? Why then is this politics with the prices of petrol?

There are no political or social commentators out there at the moment who can possibly justify so many frequent petrol hikes. Everybody is busy with something or the other. The rich have cars and to them a hike of a couple of rupees every now and then doesn’t matter. The poor have two wheelers. The poor salesmen working in the metros get peanuts as their daily allowances. The dilemma is how to manage with such meagre allowances. The choice is between the food and the petrol. If a hapless salesman starves himself to save money for petrol, he cannot give effective presentation before his client.

If he cannot give effective presentation, his sales will suffer. As a result his productivity will come down. Once that happens, bosses will keep an eye on him and if things don’t change, poor salesman will get marching orders. If he compromises on petrol and keeps his two wheeler under nourished, naturally he cannot run around for appointments on time. Competitors will take advantage and slowly salesman will be out of business. Whichever way we look at the petrol price hike, a poor salesman is at a loss. For him it is like Devil and the Deep Sea.

Poor ruling party has ignored salesmen as its important constituents hook, line and sinker. This petrol price hike will surely push it out of power. All the salesmen are eagerly waiting for the General Elections. Let the party begin now.

Dear Ministers & Political Leaders,

I am the leader of all the goats and lambs in India. The intention of this open letter is to make the voice of my community members heard. My name is Lamb and I live in the vicinity of 10 Janpath. Today one of our community members has made our community proud.

At the young age of seven months, Chulbul has sacrificed herself to save the portfolio of one of the ministers who finds himself embroiled into the charges of corruption. Our intelligence report suggests that demand for my young community members is only going to go up as more scandals are likely to tumble out in the days leading to the general elections.

The mango man of this country may not know why high and mighty sacrifice young members of my community. Today one goat is sacrificed. And thanks to TV news channels entire country has come to know the important role we goats and lambs play in running the governments at both central and state levels.

The secret behind sacrificing us is we have direct connection with god. We can enter god’s room any time without knocking. We can barge into any high level meeting god is presiding over. We can wake up god from sleep any time. God loves us. He listens to our pleas and requests. He is accessible to us any time. This is why when our netas are in neck deep troubles, they come knocking at our doors. Before sending us to the Heaven, they tell the member who is chosen what exact message they want delivered to god.

This practise has been in fashion since time immemorial. Netas belonging to the ruling party (at the Centre) are our prime customers as more often than not it is they who end up as the targets of opposition’s sting operations and are exposed. When they fall out of High Command’s good books, they seek divine intervention and get in touch with us.

We never fail to deliver. My members are trained specifically for the purpose carrying netas’ messages to god in code languages so that the opposition doesn’t know what messages have gone up there. After my member reaches up there, Party High Command changes her/his mind within no time and ministers about to be shown the door are promoted up the order. The spin doctors successfully dress up that promotion of minister as some sort of punishment for the alleged misdeeds to calm down growing anger of mango men.

However, what is sad is after using our services the political class keep us at arm’s length. In many cases, ministers have promised the kith and kin of sacrificed members jobs and various government perks entitled to the VVIPs. But there has been no change in the condition of my community. None of the promises has been kept to our dismay. Even media persons ignored and refused to cover us for fear of offending the political class.

Today let it be known to the entire world that next sacrifice will not happen until special quotas in railways and civil aviation are reserved for my community members. The kith and kin of Chulbul (the goat sacrificed today) have placed a demand on record that one percent of amount taken in bribe must immediately be shared with them. Unless this happens, minister’s message will not be delivered to god and minister will get the boot in all likelihood.

I sincerely hope that following world wide attention we have received on social networking sites, netas will learn a lesson and start treating us with the respect we deserve.

Yours Faithfully.
Lamb.
All India Leader of Goat and Sheep Association.

Respected Honourable Justice Katju Sir,

The world would have been such a sadder place, had you not been around. You have been tirelessly entertaining your countrymen for past few months. Though 90% of Indians are idiots, they love you for providing hilarious moments full of the humour that has come to be the very hallmark of your personality.

The entire film fraternity has expressed outrage and shock at the Supreme Court that has upheld the film actor Sanjay Dutt’s conviction. The court has granted him five years rigorous imprisonment. By now everyone knows what Sanjay Dutt was found guilty of doing. There’s no need to repeat those details here.

Sir, you have really stirred the hornet’s nest by demanding that Sanjay Dutt should be forgiven. According to you he has already suffered enough. His ordeals have become the stuff the legends are made up of. The country is surprised to know that you have a soft spot in your heart for Sanjay Dutt. That’s really so nice of you.

Ever since you’ve observed that 90% of Indians are idiots, those 90% of Indians had been wondering whether you belonged to that group of 90% or not. But now the whole country has heaved a sigh of relief that you too are very much a part of the elite club of those 90% idiots.

You are seeking pardon for Sanjay Dutt on various grounds. Those grounds indicate how deeply you have studied the enigma called Sanjay Dutt before dashing off that letter to the governor of Maharashtra. Please forgive me for being obnoxious. But the fact is Sanjay Dutt is a father of three children, and not two; as you have wrongly written in your letter.

This is, however, a small error that can be overlooked since film stars tend to have colourful lives. And the number of how many children they have fathered is always under constant speculation. Having said this the most hilarious ground is since Sanjay Dutt revived the memories of Bapu – the father of our nation – through his portrayal of Munnabhai character in Lagey Raho Munnabhai, he is eligible for mercy.

This ground has left no one in doubt that we Indians are really idiots. Do we really need someone like Sanjay Dutt to remind us of Bapu’s huge legacy? If we want to remember Bapu, all we need to do is take a look at a ten rupee note. Bapu is aways there for us printed on the Indian currency notes observing silently how we spend our money.

Sir, you are a man of impeccable integrity. You neither seek (intentionally) publicity nor spend money. This is precisely why it took a convicted brat like Sanju Baba to remind you of Bapu. More power to your idiocy, sir. You have made every idiot world wide hugely proud of you.

Please continue to entertain your countrymen like this forever. In these strife torn and inflation ridden times, all we can afford is a few moments of harmless laughter. Only you can provide us those lighter moments. I would also like to congratulate you for showing the publicity hungry masses how to generate publicity without coming across as someone who is hungry for publicity. How to manufacture controversies has come to be an art. You are the master of manufacturing controversies and thereby gaining unlimited publicity.

Kudos to your penchant for managing to stay in the limelight through all the seasons.

Best Wishes for future heroics.

Yours Truly.

An Idiot.

Come Bapu’s birthday and lip services become the flavour of the season. Suddenly the gasbags feel an acute need to revisit Mahatma’s ideas and principles only to tell those who care to listen that how relevant they are even today!

Upon closer examination it becomes clear that in their personal lives these Bapu fans do exactly opposite of what Bapu preached and expected his followers to emulate. But then some occasions such as Bapu’s birth anniversary have ended up as the spectacles for indulging in unabashed hypocrisy.

In the build-up to Bapu’s birthday, there were no controversies until the theft of the spectacles perched upon Bapu’s statue at Anna Hazare’s native place came to light.

Now this theft however small or trivial begs the question why to steal the spectacles of a statue of Mahatma whom people revere or pretend to revere? What kind of thief will commit such an absurd and logic defying theft? Is the thief mentally unstable or what? Above all, should we laugh at the spectacle-less statue or the thief who committed the crime of robbing the symbol of its most recognisable trademark?

Either there is no respect left for Bapu or people will go to any extent to earn their five minutes of fame. Will the police register a case and not rest until the guilty is/are brought to book? This means to say that one prank bordering on inhumanity has the potential of setting off equally silly and time consuming reactions.

Has the mischief taken place on any other normal day, would it have got the coverage it got on the eve of Bapu’s birth anniversary? The travesty of justice is Bapu is a forgotten hero who appears on the radar of our collective conscience only when there is a controversy attached to his name.

Bapu would have forgiven those who have stolen the spectacles of his statue. Then, the joke would have been on the thieves themselves. The best way to celebrate Bapu’s this birthday will be to visit Bapu’s statues installed across prime locations in our respective cities and replace his rimless spectacles with the designer glares ala Dabangg style.

This will not only give Bapu an image make over but will also help him reconnect with today’s youth. The mischief makers have given the genuine Bapu fans an opportunity to bring Bapu back into the reckoning.

Bapu needs Ray Bans. Bapu’s fans need some path breaking ideas to keep his relevance in today’s age. The Bapu detractors need attention by indulging in acts of stupidity such as stealing spectacles of statue to prove their point. Sadly, nobody gives a thought to Bapu’s feelings any more.

Bapu’s principles are all for simplicity and non-violence. Let’s remember and forgive the thief.

Happy Birthday Mahatma. You continue to live in our hearts.

The whole world has gone insane. How else can you explain such vile remarks and attacks on my integrity from all and sundry? They don’t know they are targeting a saint like me. The developments over past few months have pained me a lot to say the least.

Once upon a time the critics called Mrs. Indira Gandhi “gungi gudiya” for her alleged inability to give rousing speeches while addressing public gatherings. I am aware of the whisper campaign currently underway that describes such an honorable man like me as “gunga guda” for my deep and contemplative silence.

After all, what is there to speak? Kapil ji, Chidambaram ji, and Digvijay ji are all the time speaking. Sometimes they bribe my peon to steal the print-outs of my speeches and  replace them with the blank A4 papers. Then they shamelessly learn these speeches by heart only to reproduce them verbatim in the TV studios much to the dismay of my spin doctors who so painfully write my speeches.

All these underhand techniques of my cabinet and party colleagues have forced me into such a remorseful silence that the whole world is heaping scorn on me. I know that my integrity is beyond reproach. The scams have been around even before my premiership. It is not that all the scams have taken place during my tenure contrary to the impression that has gained ground.

I have always made it clear that I have nothing to hide. That I am ready for any debate on the floor of parliament. That I am all for the impartial inquiry of my roles into various scams that have unfortunately tumbled out of closets during the UPA regime.

The opposition has been baying for my blood. My own cabinet colleagues are giving contradictory statements with a view to pushing me out of Madam’s good books. The social media too is trying its best to create social unrest. Whoever is making life difficult for me doesn’t know that I am the best PM the country has seen till date.

To bolster my claim, here are a few achievements. I have put the Tihar Jail on the global map. Various scams with mind numbing zeros have flourished under my premiership. All this has contributed towards many Indians becoming multimillionaires to adore the cover page of the Forbes magazine. The list is endless. I can go on and on.

The media is the direct beneficiary of all the shenanigans that have taken place during my tenure. Thanks to all the scams and communal unrest in the recent past, the media has witnessed a steady growth in its circulation, TRPs and revenues over a period of time. Poor western media – buoyed by recession – cannot see its Indian counterparts doing so well.

This is precisely why they target me thinking it will bring a turn around in their fortunes. The Time cover-page was not only silly but also in a poor taste. Nobody (here or abroad) was impressed with the lousy job Time did. Instead of me losing my (already lost) reputation, it was Time that ended up damaging its own reputation.

This western press or media doesn’t like to learn from its own mistakes. Now as I write this diary, the Washington Post seems to have shot itself in the foot by calling such a man of fine repute like yours truly as a tragic figure who has fallen from grace. Can there be anything more comic than these juvenile observations?

The scribe Mr. Simon Denyer himself is a tragic figure since all those gentlemen he has spoken to before doing this piece on me have royally taken him for a jolly ride. Poor Simon Denyer doesn’t seem to understand that without grasping the local political permutations and combinations and equations if you sit down to write something as serious as that, your sources and facts tend to get all mixed up making you look like a tragic figure in the end.

The learned gentleman has little idea that my government and the party boast of years of experience in blaming on poor “foreign hand” everything that happens in this country. Then how can this foreign hand (scribe) come back to haunt me? I am really having the last laugh now.

Before I slip back into my preferred silence mode, one word of caution for Ambika ji who has been demanding an apology from Mr. Denyer who merely did as he was asked to do. She doesn’t know that my favourite film is Yash Chopra directed super-hit “Deewar”.

To quote the famous line from my all time favourite Deewar, “First go and get the signature of that person who inked on my hand that my father is a thief”, I think in view of the ongoing predicament, it would be more appropriate if first she went and got Madam’s apology for having listened to her inner-voice way back in 2004. While she is at it, she might as well go to the voters who voted UPA to power to get their apologies.

So many apologies are required. Whatever is happening is politically motivated for which as usual a foreign hand is to be blamed. Since I am not to be blamed for anything, please offer your unconditional apologies.

 

 

 

 

Honourable President Shri Pranab Mukherjee,

Please accept my sincere apology for taking a few minutes of your valuable time for the matter that is yet to concern you as of now. I know that you are still trying to feel at home amidst your new palatial surroundings. Moreover, there is a lot of pending work to do. But I, as a layman, request you to take out only a few minutes to read this letter which may serve as a reference point some time in future.

To tell you the truth, after a long time our country has got something to rejoice about. No, no, please do not misunderstand me. I am not talking about under-19 cricket team becoming the world champion by winning the world cup. In fact, I am talking about the Supreme Court’s verdict upholding the death penalty awarded to the lone surviving terrorist Kasab.

All the patriotic citizens of India are celebrating this verdict. Everybody is now relieved. The law has finally taken its course. The wheels of justice have come a full circle for Kasab and company for having waged war against our beloved country.

Our independent judiciary has delivered. Right from the lion-hearted policeman Tukaram Ombale who nabbed Kasab alive by risking his life to all the jail officials to all the public prosecutors and the judges deserve to be applauded and rewarded handsomely for ensuring that the justice is delivered. The families of the victims too must have heaved a sigh of relief.

The verdict must have sent a shiver down the spines of those who are secretly harbouring ambitions of waging war against India. The speedy execution of the verdict will forever seal India’s image as a soft state. Having said that the real test begins now.

As you are aware that amongst our political class there is a tendency to polarize society along the caste and religious lines to win votes. These folks have been playing one community against another since Independence. The country too has been suffering great losses in terms of everything on account of this short-sightedness. The fear is that some vested interests will try and play a bloody game by giving this verdict some political colour keeping the upcoming elections in mind.

My humble request to you is as the President of India, please do not allow this nonsense to happen. If and when the mercy plea of Kasab comes to you, without betting an eyelid please throw it out for this beast deserves no mercy. He has killed the innocents. He has shed the blood of those strangers who had never done any harm to him. The deadly bullets that left his automatic machine gun were meant to kill the human beings irrespective of their caste, creed and above all religion.

Does such a terrorist deserve any mercy? No, right? Instead he deserves to be sent straight to the gallows without any further delay. In fact, he has overstayed his welcome. He has eaten enough plates of Biriyani. He has watched enough Hindi films. He has hurt the pride of this country enough. Most importantly, he has murdered enough sons of this soil. Please spare no thoughts for such a terrorist. He is neither a human being nor he belongs to any religion. He is a death machine whose sole job is to snuff out the precious lives given by god.

Sir, you are the statesman of impeccable integrity. Your commitment to democracy and the esteemed post you are holding is beyond reproach. You know the impact of the mindless bloodbath. Being the honourable man you are, please do not let your countrymen down who are looking up to you to set an example by rising above petty opportunism to deny a victory to this country.

Thanking you for your patient reading.

Regards,

An Indian.


@GheTa

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Wow....!!! This Much Love.....!!!!

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