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Archive for the ‘Team Anna’ Category

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Who doesn’t know Manish Tewari? Manish Tewari is an I&B Union Minister. He also has a dubious distinction of trending on a popular micro blogging site Twitter on famous Bollywood actress Katrina Kaif’s birthday. The reason why he trended on Twitter on such a fateful day is once again he did what he is expert at doing. He shot his mouth off.

Everybody knows that Dr. MMS doesn’t speak at all. Manish Tewariji is a complete contrast to MMS. He speaks too much. He doesn’t try and understand whether his comments or observations are required and whether they’ll serve his party well or not. No sooner he sees camera crews from TV news channels than he starts speaking sometimes much to the chagrin of the party he represents.

On the condition of anonymity, some senior Congress leaders have admitted that a tacit understanding between ever silent PM and motor mouth Manishji does exist. It is mutually agreed by both PM and Manishji that while the former will observe an all time silence, the latter will start hyperventilating every time he comes within sniffing distance of a mike.

That said, after all who can forget his notorious jibe at Anna Hazare and his team? It was Manishji who had accused Annaji of corruption. But he had really met his match in Anna Hazare who took him to the cleaners by demanding an apology from him without delay. That public spat with Annaji helped Manishji score brownie points within his own party. This is precisely why every time Manishji suffers from the foot in the mouth disease, his party throws its full weight behind him.

But alas his luck seems to have run its course. This time around Manishji has reportedly earned the wrath of his party big wigs while taking a jibe at BJP for charging admission fee at an event in Hyderabad where Mr. Modi is the main speaker. The latest round of verbal dual between Manishji and BJP hasn’t gone down well with the party High Command. Rahul G is livid at the way BJP has attacked the central leadership of Congress on account of Manish Tewari’s potshot at Modi show in Hyderabad next month. Congress has been finding itself on back-foot ever since Mr. Modi’s elevation at the national stage. The party think tank has decided not to lock direct horns with the Gujarat CM. But Manishji has sounded the war of bugle without getting a green signal from 10 Janpath.

Rahul G has reportedly asked Manishji to avoid mikes and TV cameras until further orders. In the next party meet, Rahul G – it is learnt from the sources close to him – will welcome Manishji with a garland of five rupee currency note and advise him to keep that note as a token of appreciation for keeping his mouth shut in future.

Though many senior leaders feel that five rupee note is such a small amount for Manishji, Rahul G is believed to have convinced them by citing the fall of rupee from the grace. It remains to be seen whether Manishji will come out unscathed from his latest predicament. Those who know the gritty minister claim that this is like a storm in the tea cup for the beleaguered minister, trust him to kick off another another controversy to bring him back in the reckoning as soon as possible.

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My name is Robert Vadra and I am not corrupt. Nobody knows the excruciating pain I have been experiencing following the revelations of my alleged involvement in the corruption by Kejrival and co.

I am a patriotic citizen of India. I am a son-in-law of Italy. Had I wanted, I would have established my business empire in Italy. But I want the country of my birth to benefit from my out-of-box and underhand business deals. This is precisely why I chose to be in India.

Look at what my fellow country men have been doing to me. They should never bite the hands that feed them. My hands have grown so wide and strong that they can reach any nook and corner of India and feed the mouths where food doesn’t reach.

Following these allegations, do these morons think that I will be interested in doing social work any longer? They have dug their own grave. They have burnt all their bridges with prosperity. But I am safe as I have uncountable wealth stashed away in the lockers of the Swiss banks.

Nobody knows the truth how and from where these revelations have materialised. The Congress supporters are naive enough to think that the BJP is directing the Kejrival and Co from behind the scene ahead of the Gujarat assembly polls.

Alas! How misguided these die hard fans are!

The BJP is too busy dousing fire in its own backyard with so many prime ministerial candidates entering the fray. Then who is responsible for the latest skeleton to appear from nowhere? Well, the fact is stranger than fiction, isn’t it? I am the writer, director and producer of the magnum opus that is playing itself out on the TV screen near you.

But then you want to ask me why someone like me would want to blow his own chances of becoming the brother-in-law of future PM or if the god is willing, maybe the husband of future PM by getting maligned as a corrupt businessman. Well, there you got it.

I am sick of playing the second fiddle to these bumbling Gandhis. I want to become neither the brother-in-law of future of PM nor husband. The fact is I want to become the PM of this country. The late Feroz Gandhi and I hold discussions in my dreams. It is he who wants to see me as the PM of India. He wants me to fulfill his dream of becoming the PM as he strongly feels up there in the Heaven that the Gandhi dynasty has run its course and the time for another dynasty has come. The Vadra dynasty fits the bill perfectly.

Amidst all this hullabaloo Soniaji got very upset and expressed her desire to speak to me on phone. Now the PM is scared of her who takes her calls even when he is evacuating himself in the rest room. I decided to show the lady who the real boss is and kept her waiting on line for half an hour during which I had a perfect head to toe body massage from Thai masseuse and smoked three Havana cigars.

The lady sounded agitated and feared that her government was on the brink of collapse. I pacified her by saying that all the attars of Arabia might not be able to wash away the stink of corruption her government has raised but certainly all my money can save her government from toppling. She sounded relaxed and hung up before advising me to keep clear of the press.

If only she knew what I have been up to.

Even as Salmanji and Manishji hop from one TV studio to another to defend me, I am counting wades of crisp currency notes meant to be sent away to the Swiss Bank lockers where my money will continue to grow by leaps and bounds.

So much for Kejrival and his crusade against corruption.

So the first day of Baba Ramdev’s fast against corruption is over. The supporters have returned to Ramlila Maidan proving Baba Ramdev’s charisma as a crowd puller. Although the media wants to downplay this huge mass support to Baba, there is no doubting the fact¬† that Baba Ramdev has done what Anna Hazare couldn’t do in the recent past.

The fight against corruption is alive and kicking. People are for the corruption free India and they are ready to support a leader who is able to articulate his vision for the corruption free India by leading the fight from the front.

The phenomenal support to Baba Ramdev is the result of his clear cut approach to the cause. He has conveyed time and again that he is against the menace of the black money and corruption. His fight is not against any political party or politicians for that matter. He wants a corruption free nation. And he is ready to wait and watch the effect of his campaign over a period of time as such systemic rot cannot be eradicated overnight.

This is precisely what has won the hearts of people and they have decided to support Baba Ramdev hoping he is the harbinger of good times. Poor Anna Hazare threw the advantage by heeding to the ill advice and flip flops on the core issues of the campaign. What further damaged the credibility of Anna’s campaign was constant infighting amongst team members for the one upmanship. Add all this to a thorough dilution of the cause for which it claimed to fight and one gets the sense of the fading support for Team Anna.

Coming back to Baba Ramdev, this time around he has bounced back with a sting in his tail. Once bitten twice shy. He has done his home-work. He appears determined not to over attack and target any individual for there are no permanent enemies. The government cannot take it easy now. Again the tables have turned. The rules of the games have changed overnight. 

Thank you Baba Ramdev for infusing fresh lease of life in the fight against the corruption and black money. You are indeed the real hero the nation so desperately seeks.

What a dance of democracy! Nobody can match our politicians when it comes to entertainment. Even the supposed blockbuster Agent Vinod bombed on the box-office Kareena Kapoor’s mujra not withstanding. There are times when our films and film stars have failed to provide us any real entertainment. But these politicians know the importance of entertainment. And this is precisely why they, time and again, step into the shoes of film folks and serve us tasty dishes of entertainment till we cry out, “Enough now.”

How else can you explain Sharad Yadav’s outburst against Team Anna for abusing the MPs and the temple of democracy? Our rulers are above everything. The subjects have no right to criticise them or call them names. The rulers are innocent and their position in the Parliament is sacrosanct. Dare raise voice against them and be ready to get persecuted. All politicians cutting across the party lines will stand united and ensure even the slightest hint of opposition against their ilk dies a natural death.

As if all this were not enough, we have a story of the army chief being offered a bribe of high sum for the purchase of army trucks belonging to a particular manufacturing company. As soon as the story is out, allegations and counter allegations begin to fly thick and fast. All sorts of theories start doing the rounds. The poor army chief becomes the butt of all sorts of joke. The Defense Minister too is not spared and the trial by media gets underway with the entire country sitting in the judgement.

This is the real dance of democracy where anybody is welcome. The proceedings are televised and the whole country can partake. There’s nothing wrong in it. This is the hallmark of a truly vibrant democracy. But there is something that doesn’t quite jell well. What’s that? All this hyperbole masquerading as freedom of speech borders on voyeurism. The real issues get buried. The work doesn’t happen. The politicians at whom cameras are trained begin to act like actors who are under tremendous pressure to get the lines right and make the scenes they are enacting as memorable as possible.

With the film industry looking so bereft of new ideas and newer acting talents, it should consider shifting its responsibility of entertaining people to these wily politicians who know the pulse of the nation and will leave no stones unturned in making the TRPs soar as high as the sky and break all previous box-office records. Any takers?

 

 

 

 

 


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