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Archive for the ‘Robert Vadra’ Category

Today is a sad day in the history of our democratic country. Rupee keeps crashing further. Sonia Gandhi took ill but thanks to our super specialists’ timely efforts, she returned home hale and hearty. The icing on the cake was the revelation that Robert Vadra the first son-in-law of our country is merely a small farmer. Not only India but the entire world is in shock at this revelation.

Robert Vadra has been in the news recently for all the wrong reasons. There are many who believe that Robert Vadra has made a lot of wealth and his personal net worth has sky rocketed ever since UPA’s reign at the Centre. So many op-eds have come out speculating his personal net worth and its mysterious sources.

But today mother of all revelations has proved in a single stroke that Robert Vadra is a poor victim of malicious campaign against him. He is a thorough and thorough gentleman who works as a small farmer somewhere back in the beyond. His personal net worth has always remained a big zero. On the other hand, like any other small farmer of this country even he has a debt of several thousand rupees on him. It is said that to pay off that small debt he approached several banks without revealing his famous mother-in-law and brother-in-law’s names. Obviously, the banks have turned out his request for loans. And as a result, poor Robert Vadra aka small farmer is forced to live in penury.

This is not some propaganda on the eve of general election. Nor this revelation is a ploy to repair ruling party’s both image and credibility. But the small farmer act of Robert Vadra is a hard hitting fact in the face of those who were projecting him as a multi millionaire son-in-law who was out to grab everything. As the news of Robert Vadra’s real vocation spread like a wildfire, the self proclaimed political analysts and so-called sources close to the first family were out there to enlighten anyone who cared to listen how this could benefit Congress party.

All said and done, if Robert Vadra is living like a small farmer with his in-laws running the country, it speaks volumes about their ruling capabilities. There are some former ministers who held important portfolios a few months back and who have successfully eradicated poverty from its very root. They are in a comfortable position. Their near and dear ones are also able to secure their livelihoods and there’s no immediate threat to their well heeled future. If the ministers could do this, why couldn’t the rulers themselves? This is really puzzling.

The well-wishers of Dynasty are in a terrible shock. They want the first son-in-law to be in a comfortable position. Instead of working in the field under the harsh sun rays, what they would like to see is Robert Vadra sporting imported goggles, posing for glossy magazines in tight fitting, muscle rippling t-shirts next to imported cars and bikes.

Who would like to see the only son-in-law in tattered dhoti and torn vest standing next to buffaloes and cows wiping mud from his unshaven face?
As a sycophant of the ruling Dynasty, I hope that the Republic of India will be spared those devastating images (if there are any).

My name is Robert Vadra and I am not corrupt. Nobody knows the excruciating pain I have been experiencing following the revelations of my alleged involvement in the corruption by Kejrival and co.

I am a patriotic citizen of India. I am a son-in-law of Italy. Had I wanted, I would have established my business empire in Italy. But I want the country of my birth to benefit from my out-of-box and underhand business deals. This is precisely why I chose to be in India.

Look at what my fellow country men have been doing to me. They should never bite the hands that feed them. My hands have grown so wide and strong that they can reach any nook and corner of India and feed the mouths where food doesn’t reach.

Following these allegations, do these morons think that I will be interested in doing social work any longer? They have dug their own grave. They have burnt all their bridges with prosperity. But I am safe as I have uncountable wealth stashed away in the lockers of the Swiss banks.

Nobody knows the truth how and from where these revelations have materialised. The Congress supporters are naive enough to think that the BJP is directing the Kejrival and Co from behind the scene ahead of the Gujarat assembly polls.

Alas! How misguided these die hard fans are!

The BJP is too busy dousing fire in its own backyard with so many prime ministerial candidates entering the fray. Then who is responsible for the latest skeleton to appear from nowhere? Well, the fact is stranger than fiction, isn’t it? I am the writer, director and producer of the magnum opus that is playing itself out on the TV screen near you.

But then you want to ask me why someone like me would want to blow his own chances of becoming the brother-in-law of future PM or if the god is willing, maybe the husband of future PM by getting maligned as a corrupt businessman. Well, there you got it.

I am sick of playing the second fiddle to these bumbling Gandhis. I want to become neither the brother-in-law of future of PM nor husband. The fact is I want to become the PM of this country. The late Feroz Gandhi and I hold discussions in my dreams. It is he who wants to see me as the PM of India. He wants me to fulfill his dream of becoming the PM as he strongly feels up there in the Heaven that the Gandhi dynasty has run its course and the time for another dynasty has come. The Vadra dynasty fits the bill perfectly.

Amidst all this hullabaloo Soniaji got very upset and expressed her desire to speak to me on phone. Now the PM is scared of her who takes her calls even when he is evacuating himself in the rest room. I decided to show the lady who the real boss is and kept her waiting on line for half an hour during which I had a perfect head to toe body massage from Thai masseuse and smoked three Havana cigars.

The lady sounded agitated and feared that her government was on the brink of collapse. I pacified her by saying that all the attars of Arabia might not be able to wash away the stink of corruption her government has raised but certainly all my money can save her government from toppling. She sounded relaxed and hung up before advising me to keep clear of the press.

If only she knew what I have been up to.

Even as Salmanji and Manishji hop from one TV studio to another to defend me, I am counting wades of crisp currency notes meant to be sent away to the Swiss Bank lockers where my money will continue to grow by leaps and bounds.

So much for Kejrival and his crusade against corruption.


@GheTa

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