Archive for the ‘Social Responsibilites’ Category
Of Chetan Bhagat, Twitter And Detractors
Posted by: IRFAN on: August 28, 2013
How difficult or challenging it may be to become Chetan Bhagat? In other words, what it feels like to be Chetan Bhagat. Chetan Bhagat is not new to controversies. Whether controversies love him or he loves them is difficult to say. Those who follow Chetan Bhagat on Twitter, read his articles and books and watch films based on his books know that Chetan Bhagat and controversies are always within kissing distance of each other.
One wrong or politically incorrect word in a tweet can land him in a controversy. This is what seems to have happened today. Nowadays the word ‘rape’ sends a chill when used in public discourse or in a tweet. Due to two incidents of gang rapes in the recent past, there are those who believe that the use of word ‘rape’ must be avoided at all costs. And if a celebrity and a Youth Icon like Chetan Bhagat who has lakhs of followers on Twitter ought to think more than twice before using the R word in a tweet that’s likely to get hundreds of RTs and Favourites.
While slamming the slide of rupee, he used the R word in a tweet. Unfortunately, the ill-fated tweet stirred up hornet’s nest and outrage was so deafening that he had to delete that tweet. This spontaneous outrage over the use of R word in a tweet by a best selling author raises many serious questions.
It is agreed that rape is a beastly crime and the rapist deserves the harshest possible punishment. By committing rape, a rapist violates not only his victim’s dignity but her entire existence. Those who follow the current affairs would know that Indian rupee has been falling as if there were no tomorrow. This unabated fall of rupee is raising serious concerns. Economists are worried at this alarming trend and to make the matter worse, there’s no trick in sight to arrest the fall of rupee. The ruling class is equally clueless and what we get from the powers that be are false assurances and free advice to remain calm even as the rupee fall continues to break all previous records.
Now if this brazen disregard with which the ruling class is dealing with the falling rupee is not rape of rupee, then what is it? If Chetan Bhagat demands punishment for this continuous rape of rupee, what’s the problem? Why should he be subjected to the lectures on the usages of certain words in popular discourse? There’s an entire army of self-proclaimed conscience keepers out there against Chetan Bhagat and his use of R word in a tweet. Are they not going overboard in taking him to task?
In spite of incidents of rapes in metros like New Delhi and Mumbai, the Hindi films often portray heroes stalking heroines with a view to wooing them. This is exactly what rapists are supposed to do. They stalk their victims before striking. Why doesn’t anybody raise their voice against such scenes in films that glorify stalking? There are songs in which heroes tease heroines and call them by names. This type of behaviour in real life amounts to eve-teasing if emulated on streets. Why don’t we ever hear even so much as a whimper of protest against such songs?
Nothing can justify these potshots against Chetan Bhagat. His tweet was subjected to unfair scrutiny, criticism and vilification. It is sad to see that he had to delete that tweet because his detractors were out their with knives to misinterpret it. Another sad thing is he often gets unsolicited advice on English grammar and usage of right words at the right places on public platforms like Twitter.
It must really be extremely tough to be Chetan Bhagat. One wonders how he copes with so much scrutiny and not to mention unfair criticism. But he often comes across as a brave underdog who keeps doing his job no matter what others think and say about him. He doesn’t mind getting pilloried. Maybe he knows that what great heights he has achieved both as a popular writer of fiction and a Youth Icon are exactly what not many (read his detractors) can digest. And this is precisely why his path will continue to be infested with thorns.
Poor Chetan Bhagat. He is someone who keeps dodging bullets and yet manages to write best selling novels that get converted into super-hit films and columns that create controversies and debates. As I’ve often argued on this platform, if Chetan Bhagat’s detractors are successful in muting or dumbing down Chetan Bhagat’s spontaneity, then Twitter won’t be half of as much fun as it is today.
I wish his detractors are forced to eat an humble pie yet another time and Chetan Bhagat comes out smelling of roses this time too.
A Secret Letter to Mr. Pankaj Pachauri
Posted by: IRFAN on: July 11, 2013
- In: Humour | Morality | MP | Nature | News Satire | Politicians | Politics | Satire | Scandal | Social Media | Social Responsibilites
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Dear Pankaj Pachauri Sir,
Pratap Bhanu Mehta’s Indian Express column ‘While we were silent’ has created buzz throughout the day. You were right in saying that our country progressed while he was asleep. Pratap Bhanu Mehta’s column seems to have touched some raw nerve and it has indeed found many takers. Forget about takers, those takers are mostly on Twitter and Facebook. We need not take them seriously. But can you please explain to me as to how a person can remain asleep for nine years at a stretch?
Okay, sir. Just don’t give me any explanation. You are in a very influential position. You know better. When you say Mr. So-and-so had been asleep for almost a decade, one must believe your words without an iota of doubt. Sir, Mr. PBM must have received a serious shock when you rolled out statistics along with graphs and tables.
One look at the statistics tweeted by is enough to convince anyone that employment has doubled. The corpus of PF for private sector employees has increased four fold. Agriculture wages have increased. Poverty has declined in the country. Telecom sector is booming. Rural tele density has crossed 40 from 1.5. As far as freedom is concerned, millions of Indians have used the RTI to keep an eye on public expenditure as a tool of transparency. Roads too are built.
The graphs are impressive. The data is mind blowing. The progress is enormous. India has never been in such safer hands before. Nobody must be in doubts now. Those who praised ‘While we were silent’ and jumped with joy have gone into hiding now as their joy has proved to be so short-lived.
Sir, there are a few things that you could have done well to include in your tweets. Those omitted statistics would have made stunning graphs. Even those things our countrymen deserve to know. Please allow me to share them with you in case you had been asleep while they were happening. It is quite possible, isn’t it?
As far as poverty is concerned, it has indeed declined. How? Commonwealth Games wasted public fund only to the meagre tune of 101.02 crore. It is just a small bucket from a big ocean. Remember coalgate? Only 1,85,591lc. And then comes 2G spectrum. Again a paltry 309,845.5 but according to Mr. Kapil Sibbal ‘zero loss’.
After taking care of poverty, UPA regime moved heaven and earth to provide roof above people’s head and built The Adarsh Housing Society that captured the imagination of the whole country. It has contributed to banking sector also significantly by way of money laundering. Since India is a rich country and people have started resorting to air travel, the Railway was neglected. But UPA infused fresh lease of life into the Railways with the help of appointment scams.
Sir, another achievement that you seemed to have overlooked is Ashwani Kumar and Pawan Kumar Bansal voluntarily resigned from the posts of Ministers on the same day to mentor young and upcoming leaders of India. Our investigative agencies have no work left to do. Therefore, UPA has asked them to bring Salman Khurshid and Sriprakash Jaiswal under their scanners. Subodh Kant Sahai and MS Gill were dropped from cabinet to give more work to rusting investigative agencies.
What else? A Raja, Kanimozhi and Suresh Kalmadi visited the Tihar jail to examine the conditions prevalent in India’s jails. They spent great deal of time behind bars to prepare detailed reports to table before the Parliament.
The achievement that takes the cake is 15th Lok Sabha is likely to go down as the most disrupted house in history.
Sir, please do include these achievements in your graphical tweets next time.
Thank you.
Jai Hind.
Ramzan Mubarak
Posted by: IRFAN on: July 11, 2013
The holy month of Ramzan is here. This is ninth month of Islamic Calendar. The month of Ramzan is special to the followers of Islam worldwide in more ways than one. Whenever the month of Ramzan arrives, people think that during this month Muslims observe fasts. In other words, a person who is observing fast doesn’t take food and drink water from the sun rise until the sun set.
In theory this is true. During fast, the observer of fast must neither eat nor drink anything. But there’s still more. The Arabic word for “fasting” is “sawm.” The literal meaning of this word is “to refrain.” To elaborate further, fasting is not only refrain from food and drink but also refraining from evil actions, thoughts and words.
The person who is observing fast must offer prayers five times a day. He must not look at unlawful things. His hands must stay from committing unlawful activities. He must not indulge in gossiping or bad mouthing others. Since this month is a time of enhanced devotion and prayers, one is supposed to refrain from sexual relations and behaviour. In a nutshell, the entire body (not just mouth) must observe the fast.
The purpose of this holy month is to redirect the heart away from the worldly activities and reevaluate one’s life vis-a-vis the teachings of Islam, and thereby achieve cleansing or purification of the soul.
This holy month teaches Muslims self-discipline, self-control, sacrifice and empathy for the underprivileged. This month encourages acts of generosity and compulsory charity known as Zaka’at.
Why is Ramzan the most sacred month in Islamic Calendar? It was during this month that the prophet Mohammed received revelations of the holy Quran. And this is precisely why the repeated reciting of the Quran during Ramzan is highly recommended.
Ramzan Mubarak.
Rs 1.82 : A Salesman’s Curse
Posted by: IRFAN on: June 28, 2013
- In: Humour | Injustice | News Satire | Politicians | Politics | Satire | Social Media | Social Responsibilites | Twitter Trends
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So much is happening in our country. Brave hearts are dying while undertaking rescue operations in Uttarakhand. Politicians are squabbling over who rescued how many people trapped amidst ruins. News anchors are grilling all and sundry under the comfortable guise of the-nation-wants-to-know. New films are hitting the cinema halls. Indian Cricket Team led by MS Dhoni is winning cups after cups. Rahul Gandhi is holidaying in some far flung country where nobody can reach him. The rupee is falling down at breathtaking speed. The list is long as so many things all around us are happening.
Amidst all this ha ha hoopla comes the news that the price of petrol is all set to receive yet another hike. This time around the hike is Rs 1.82 per litre. This means to say petrol became dearer once again. The timing of this news couldn’t have come at a more critical juncture. The country is yet to recover from the trauma and shock of Uttrakhand calamity in which several thousands have perished and a few hundreds have gone missing. The Congress and BJP are locked in a bitter fight over allegations of fake encounters that took place several years ago.
When nobody has time to protest or question the latest petrol hike, this hike has quietly surfaced from nowhere. And it seems that the culprits behind this latest petrol hike will go scot-free. Who cares for aam admi? A hike of few rupees isn’t a big deal anyway. The ruling party seems to cock a snook at aam admi at regular intervals by hiking the petrol price. Isn’t it worried about losing the votes of middle class? Has middle class stopped mattering to the ruling elite? Why then is this politics with the prices of petrol?
There are no political or social commentators out there at the moment who can possibly justify so many frequent petrol hikes. Everybody is busy with something or the other. The rich have cars and to them a hike of a couple of rupees every now and then doesn’t matter. The poor have two wheelers. The poor salesmen working in the metros get peanuts as their daily allowances. The dilemma is how to manage with such meagre allowances. The choice is between the food and the petrol. If a hapless salesman starves himself to save money for petrol, he cannot give effective presentation before his client.
If he cannot give effective presentation, his sales will suffer. As a result his productivity will come down. Once that happens, bosses will keep an eye on him and if things don’t change, poor salesman will get marching orders. If he compromises on petrol and keeps his two wheeler under nourished, naturally he cannot run around for appointments on time. Competitors will take advantage and slowly salesman will be out of business. Whichever way we look at the petrol price hike, a poor salesman is at a loss. For him it is like Devil and the Deep Sea.
Poor ruling party has ignored salesmen as its important constituents hook, line and sinker. This petrol price hike will surely push it out of power. All the salesmen are eagerly waiting for the General Elections. Let the party begin now.
Rahul Gandhi & Newspaper Boy
Posted by: IRFAN on: May 13, 2013
Today world saw a new side of Rahul Gandhi. Since he is a shy politician and avoids publicity, his PR was instructed not to blow the incident out of proportion. But somehow this incident has come to light and everybody is talking about it. Obviously, Rahul Gandhi is livid and has decided to fire his PR for this gaffe.
In a nutshell, the much talked about story goes like this. A young boy knocks at the window of a car in which Rahul Baba is travelling. It turns out that the young boy wants to sell Rahul Baba a newspaper. Though Rahul Baba has already read all the dailies of the day on his mini iPad, he doesn’t want to disappoint the young boy and buys a paper from him. Rahul Baba pays him 1000 rupees for a single newspaper after inquiring as to why he was not at school.
This is the story being peddled by the PR chaps hired by RG Baba. The whole world seems to have lapped it up without doubt. But insiders are miffed at what is being told to the people. The real story is totally different. All of a sudden the AC of Rahul Baba’s car broke down. Now this is the summer season. Unfortunately, the support staff had forgotten to carry tissues with which Rahul Baba could wipe his sweat beads on forehead. Suddenly, they saw this boy selling newspapers at the traffic signal.
The support staff approached the boy and purchased all his newspapers for one thousand rupees. They took those papers with the sole intention of converting them into tissues for Rahul Baba. The overzealous PR managers saw some opportunity to market the generous side of RG in this incident and rolled out a narrative depicting RG as the messiah of boys across the country selling newspapers at traffic signals.
Soon this story found many takers much to the delight of PR guys. But their joy proved to be short-lived, and; alarm bells began to ring when the news that the crew of a foreign news channel was looking for this newspaper boy for an interview reached the PR chaps. They pressed the panic button and came out with the story of this boy having been picked up for education, and; hence unavailable to appear before media.
According to sources close to Rahul Gandhi, the ministers are unhappy with these turns of the events. They know that the end is nigh and the last days in the office ought to be spent plundering the national wealth. There is no time left for them to provide education to the boy hand-picked by Baba at a traffic signal let alone arrange employment for lucky boy’s beleaguered father whose dream is to become a doctor when he grows up.
Leader of Goat Writes an Open Letter
Posted by: IRFAN on: May 10, 2013
- In: Humour | Injustice | Morality | News Satire | Politicians | Politics | Satire | Scandal | Social Media | Social Responsibilites | Twitter Trends
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Dear Ministers & Political Leaders,
I am the leader of all the goats and lambs in India. The intention of this open letter is to make the voice of my community members heard. My name is Lamb and I live in the vicinity of 10 Janpath. Today one of our community members has made our community proud.
At the young age of seven months, Chulbul has sacrificed herself to save the portfolio of one of the ministers who finds himself embroiled into the charges of corruption. Our intelligence report suggests that demand for my young community members is only going to go up as more scandals are likely to tumble out in the days leading to the general elections.
The mango man of this country may not know why high and mighty sacrifice young members of my community. Today one goat is sacrificed. And thanks to TV news channels entire country has come to know the important role we goats and lambs play in running the governments at both central and state levels.
The secret behind sacrificing us is we have direct connection with god. We can enter god’s room any time without knocking. We can barge into any high level meeting god is presiding over. We can wake up god from sleep any time. God loves us. He listens to our pleas and requests. He is accessible to us any time. This is why when our netas are in neck deep troubles, they come knocking at our doors. Before sending us to the Heaven, they tell the member who is chosen what exact message they want delivered to god.
This practise has been in fashion since time immemorial. Netas belonging to the ruling party (at the Centre) are our prime customers as more often than not it is they who end up as the targets of opposition’s sting operations and are exposed. When they fall out of High Command’s good books, they seek divine intervention and get in touch with us.
We never fail to deliver. My members are trained specifically for the purpose carrying netas’ messages to god in code languages so that the opposition doesn’t know what messages have gone up there. After my member reaches up there, Party High Command changes her/his mind within no time and ministers about to be shown the door are promoted up the order. The spin doctors successfully dress up that promotion of minister as some sort of punishment for the alleged misdeeds to calm down growing anger of mango men.
However, what is sad is after using our services the political class keep us at arm’s length. In many cases, ministers have promised the kith and kin of sacrificed members jobs and various government perks entitled to the VVIPs. But there has been no change in the condition of my community. None of the promises has been kept to our dismay. Even media persons ignored and refused to cover us for fear of offending the political class.
Today let it be known to the entire world that next sacrifice will not happen until special quotas in railways and civil aviation are reserved for my community members. The kith and kin of Chulbul (the goat sacrificed today) have placed a demand on record that one percent of amount taken in bribe must immediately be shared with them. Unless this happens, minister’s message will not be delivered to god and minister will get the boot in all likelihood.
I sincerely hope that following world wide attention we have received on social networking sites, netas will learn a lesson and start treating us with the respect we deserve.
Yours Faithfully.
Lamb.
All India Leader of Goat and Sheep Association.
IPL and Sanjay Dutt
Posted by: IRFAN on: March 28, 2013
- In: Cricket | Humour | News Satire | Politics | Satire | Social Media | Social Responsibilites | Sports | Twitter Trends
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The IPL marketing managers have, so far, failed to arouse both interest and enthusiasm amongst the viewers. How they are going to grab the eyeballs is a million dollar question on every one’s mind. If, at all, IPL has dominated the news headlines; it has done so for all the wrong reasons. A couple of days ago there was a news item about the Sri Lankan players not allowed to play the IPL matches in Chennai.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the politicians have started using IPL as a tool to settle their political scores. Cricketers and the cricket managers have been deprived of an opportunity to milk IPL for their personal popularity and gains. Be that as it may, the fact that IPL is likely to prove to be a damp squib this time around has left the organisers a worried lot. Suddenly they have realised that the cricket fatigue is setting and the upcoming edition of IPL is yet to find many takers.
Since the stakes are high and big bucks are riding on the success of this IPL tournament, the strategy makers have gone into a huddle so as to come out with a winning formula that makes this edition of IPL a super success. The major stakeholders in IPL are not the players but beleaguered businessman like Vijay Mallya who is hoping that his team RCB will turn around the fortunes of debt ridden KFA and employees will finally receive their much awaited salaries.
In terms of debts, inflated egos, political rivalries and sinking popularity, there is indeed a lot that is at stake with regards to IPL. This IPL edition is a make or break for many stakeholders including players in more ways than one. Keeping all these factors in mind, the marketing in-charge of IPL has got a few game changing ideas in one of the brain storming sessions.
This self proclaimed reporter filed an RTI to get the minutes of the strategy meet of the IPL marketing team. According to the highly confidential documents available with this reporter, in the said meeting, a unanimous decision has been taken to withdraw all TV commercials featuring Farah Khan whose irritating dance moves have enraged the viewers world wide. There were reports of a few frustrated viewers having smashed their TV sets as soon as the ad had appeared on their TV screens. Somehow the IPL organising committee managed to stop those news items from making it to the headlines of the newspapers and TV news channels.
However, with less than a week to go before the IPL tournament gets underway, all is not lost. The think tank has been surfing the latest trends in the cyberspace. The startling revelation is Justice Katju. His open letters have got an uncanny knack of ending up as the talk of the nation. These MBA guys have reportedly roped in Mr. Justice Katju to write an open letter to the cricket lovers. In his soon to come out open letter – the draft of which is being carefully reviewed – he is going to cite example of how this IPL edition is different from the previous ones and why watching IPL will improve the overall IQ of the nation and how each countryman will be doing a great service to the nation by watching those games.
This move will really hit the bull’s eye and do wonders for IPL and its popularity. In addition to Katju’s open letter, Sanjay Dutt has been roped in to file a petition in the court requesting that he be granted time till IPL is over to surrender. In the run up to the final date of IPL, a lot many things are expected to make the IPL tournament the top most trending topics across various online social platforms.
Marketing is an art of making the shit hit the fan. Once the shit hits the fan, there’s no looking back. The IPL marketers are just going to do that. After all, isn’t everything fair in love and war?
Pakistan Taliban : A Threat or Secret Deal?
Posted by: IRFAN on: March 23, 2013
- In: Humour | News Satire | Politics | Satire | Social Media | Social Responsibilites | Terrorism
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Pakistan Taliban is known for the blood shed. It believes in ruling the people of Pakistan by wielding swords and automatic machine guns. Today much dreaded Taliban ended up as a butt of ridicule. The reason for this was its threat to the Ex-General in exile Musharraf.
Taliban grabbed the headlines world wide when it threatened to dispatch Musharraf to hell upon his return to Pakistan on Sunday. International political analysts have observed time and again that Pakistan is a hell on the earth. If this is true, then how can Taliban threaten to send Musharraf to hell when he lands into hell?
Has Taliban misunderstood the phrase ‘out of fire and into the frying pan’? Musharraf has been cooling his heels in London which is like a heaven. It is in London where he holds Mushayras and visits India to give interviews to the TV news channels. When he is not holding Mushayras and talking to Barkhas and Rajdeeps, he is listening to Mukesh’s songs on his iPod. Musharraf is a self-confessed die-hard Mukesh fan.
Many in his own country consider Musharraf to be a spent force. His charisma has run its course. No one is bothered whether Musharraf stays or goes. Then why is Taliban making a fool of itself by issuing threat to Pervez Musharraf the Ex-General-cum-Ex-Self-Appointed-President and now in self-imposed exile? As such Musharraf has shown his willingness to head for hell by declaring to come out of the self-imposed exile?
Which hell is Taliban talking about here? This time around the joke is on Taliban itself. The Taliban observers are also confused at this gaffe. Is Taliban trying to woo people by tickling their funny bones? And was this why it chose a word like ‘hell’ in its threat to Musharraf? Many doubt that given Musharraf’s hunger for grabbing the limelight at all costs, it won’t be surprising if the details of secret deals emerge between Taliban and him after some time.
The threat has undoubtedly got many knickers in a twist. Musharraf’s timing to return to Pakistan has got to do a lot with the upcoming elections. The Ex-General firmly believes that there are many years of politicking left in him. That he can prove to be a better alternative than Imran Khan, Asif Ali Zardari and Nawaz Sharif put together.
However, people of Pakistan think otherwise. They want Musharraf to stay where he is. To create a sympathy wave in his favour, the possibilities of him having struck a secret deal with Taliban cannot be ruled out. He wants Taliban to issue multiple threats to him on the eve of his arrival.
If the call to assassinate Musharraf is given, people of Pakistan will feel sudden pangs of sympathy for him. They will throng the airport to receive him. A few over zealous supporters will roll out a red carpet for him. These are the calculations running across in ever scheming mind of Musharraf. Whether this really happens or not remains to be seen. The fact is the threat from Taliban has kicked alive the interest in both Musharraf and his much publicised return to his homeland from exile.
If Pakistan Taliban is serious about its image of hell raiser, it should engage the services of a good PR agency. The PR Machinery will prepare the carefully worded threats to be issued to the politicians, ex or serving army generals and cricketers. At least, those professionals will choose the words carefully and save Taliban the blushes. If it ever happens, Pakistan Taliban will be the first terrorist organisation in the world to have its own PR Machinery.
Even as Musharraf prepares to return home amidst threats to his life, the powers that be in Pakistan ought to look the other way. The care taker (yet to be appointed) PM’s first challenge is going to be how cleverly he will distance himself from both this threat and Taliban. Perhaps he will do well to deny the existence of Taliban on their soil. Asif Ali Zardari is also around to give his valuable inputs. The care taker PM may also hint at the involvement of non-state actors in this entire threat business after taking a cue from Mr. Ten Percent.
Musharraf is a non-state actor. Taliban is a non-state entity. Pakistan is a failed state. Its terrain is a hell on the earth. Then also the world is interested in its affairs. Musharraf and Taliban have provided hilarious moments in the course of the day. Laughter is what matters the most. Musharraf’s return to hell is going to be both remarkable and exciting.
An Open Letter to Honourable Justice Katju
Posted by: IRFAN on: March 22, 2013
- In: Bapu | Humour | Injustice | Mahatma | Morality | Munnabhai | News Satire | Politicians | Politics | Satire | Social Responsibilites | Terrorism
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Respected Honourable Justice Katju Sir,
The world would have been such a sadder place, had you not been around. You have been tirelessly entertaining your countrymen for past few months. Though 90% of Indians are idiots, they love you for providing hilarious moments full of the humour that has come to be the very hallmark of your personality.
The entire film fraternity has expressed outrage and shock at the Supreme Court that has upheld the film actor Sanjay Dutt’s conviction. The court has granted him five years rigorous imprisonment. By now everyone knows what Sanjay Dutt was found guilty of doing. There’s no need to repeat those details here.
Sir, you have really stirred the hornet’s nest by demanding that Sanjay Dutt should be forgiven. According to you he has already suffered enough. His ordeals have become the stuff the legends are made up of. The country is surprised to know that you have a soft spot in your heart for Sanjay Dutt. That’s really so nice of you.
Ever since you’ve observed that 90% of Indians are idiots, those 90% of Indians had been wondering whether you belonged to that group of 90% or not. But now the whole country has heaved a sigh of relief that you too are very much a part of the elite club of those 90% idiots.
You are seeking pardon for Sanjay Dutt on various grounds. Those grounds indicate how deeply you have studied the enigma called Sanjay Dutt before dashing off that letter to the governor of Maharashtra. Please forgive me for being obnoxious. But the fact is Sanjay Dutt is a father of three children, and not two; as you have wrongly written in your letter.
This is, however, a small error that can be overlooked since film stars tend to have colourful lives. And the number of how many children they have fathered is always under constant speculation. Having said this the most hilarious ground is since Sanjay Dutt revived the memories of Bapu – the father of our nation – through his portrayal of Munnabhai character in Lagey Raho Munnabhai, he is eligible for mercy.
This ground has left no one in doubt that we Indians are really idiots. Do we really need someone like Sanjay Dutt to remind us of Bapu’s huge legacy? If we want to remember Bapu, all we need to do is take a look at a ten rupee note. Bapu is aways there for us printed on the Indian currency notes observing silently how we spend our money.
Sir, you are a man of impeccable integrity. You neither seek (intentionally) publicity nor spend money. This is precisely why it took a convicted brat like Sanju Baba to remind you of Bapu. More power to your idiocy, sir. You have made every idiot world wide hugely proud of you.
Please continue to entertain your countrymen like this forever. In these strife torn and inflation ridden times, all we can afford is a few moments of harmless laughter. Only you can provide us those lighter moments. I would also like to congratulate you for showing the publicity hungry masses how to generate publicity without coming across as someone who is hungry for publicity. How to manufacture controversies has come to be an art. You are the master of manufacturing controversies and thereby gaining unlimited publicity.
Kudos to your penchant for managing to stay in the limelight through all the seasons.
Best Wishes for future heroics.
Yours Truly.
An Idiot.
Nitish Kumar and Development
Posted by: IRFAN on: March 17, 2013
- In: Humour | News Satire | PM | Politicians | Politics | Satire | Social Media | Social Responsibilites
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Buoyed by the success of today’s rally in New Delhi, the Bihar CM Nitish Kumar’s PR Machinery has planned a few more things to keep Nitish Kumar in spotlight in the build-up to the 2014 General Elections.
The purpose of today’s rally was to request the Centre to grant the special status to Bihar. Nitish Kumar exerted the pressure on the mild mannered and ever silent PM by saying that his support is going to be crucial in the formation of government at Centre in 2014.
By this bold assertion, the insiders say that Nitish Kumar is hoping to jolt the PM into speaking a few words. The whole nation has been eagerly waiting for the PM to say something on the rising prices of essential commodities. Many employees working in the sales and marketing field have abandoned their two wheelers since they cannot afford costly petrol any longer. It is important to note that every other week the price of petrol receives a silent hike of minimum three rupees.
Nitish Kumar is also going to firmly advocate the use of cycles. In a unique move, he plans to urge the Centre to build high quality tar roads across the country so that he can promise skating shoes to the potential voters. He wants to see people going to work not on two wheelers but on skating shoes.
Nobody can match Nitish Kumar’s grand vision for the country as of now. He also plans to unveil a brand new development model for the country. His development model will be inclusive for all. He staunchly believes that development must be for all and it must affect everyone equally.
The way he wants PM to grant special status to his state, he wants Prabhu Deva to teach dancing skills to every child below the poverty line. This will be easier for the poor children to dance to the tunes of his party when they grow up.
His office has contacted Shah Rukh Khan to teach acting skills to the people living in underprivileged conditions. The advantage of this move will be when the media tours his state to gauge the progress made under Nitish Kumar’s rule and visits slums to interview people living there, they can act as if they are living in a palace to hoodwink the mediapersons
The rumour has it that the latest batting sensation Shikhar Dhawan is roped in to teach cricket and fast running between the wickets to the workers from the rival parties. This will help them run furiously when the police resort to lathi charge to disperse the protesting crowd outside the CM’s bungalow under Nitish Kumar’s tutelage.
Nitish Kumar is looking to go in for a complete image make over. He wants people of India to be happier and more productive. He wants his countrymen to have a dynamic PM in 2014. He will do all he can to make that charismatic leader PM in 2014. That’s the promise made in his election manifesto scheduled for a release pretty soon.
Many well wishers are delighted at the emergence of new Nitish Kumar that is likely to herald the dawn of a new political chapter in the Hindi heartland. However, they are skeptical about his attempts to make the current PM say a few things.
In the recent past, Italy tried its level best to hear the voice of our PM. When everything else failed, it gave those two Marines orders to go absconding. Italy thought such a grave provocation would make PM roar like a lion. And the entire world will be forced to listen to him. But nothing happened as PM declined to break his vow of silence.
Nitish Kumar’s well wishers hope that Nitish Kumar has embarked upon a challenging journey. It is possible to make mountains move. But it is impossible to make our PM speak. Nitish Kumar is an astute politician and the hope is that PM’s silence will not deter him from his brave mission to gift India with a charismatic PM in near future.
Dream 