Dream

What a thought! Effective boss management? Well, boss is supposed to effectively manage his colleagues or “subordinates” (as some bosses love to call their team members). Then why this thought of effective boss management? Unfortunately, there are some bosses in the present scenario who expect their subordinates to manage them, and, not the other way around. One really feels pity for those who have got such over-smart bosses. Only those people know what a real pain in the neck such bosses can be!

Such bosses don’t do any work. (But they always claim to be the busiest people in the organisations). They dump their work on others (while claiming that they are delegating that particular assignment as they see a lot of potential and talent in that person). They claim to know everything (but in reality they know nothing).They justify their short-comings or failures by giving lots of reasons (while claiming their analytical abilities rarely let them down). They rarely think positive thoughts. They have no goals in life. They see other colleagues as their adversaries. They love to drop names (usually the names of top bosses) to impress upon their team members how close they are to the top management. They don’t trust people easily.  And even If they trust someone, you can be certain that they are trusting a wrong guy. They never let others know how royally their bosses have screwed them in meetings behind closed doors. They always claim to be over qualified for the post they are holding or the job they are doing. (Perhaps it is their way of hiding their inferiority complex.) They always take all the credit for good deeds done and put the blame on others for failures and botched up assignments. They never appreciate their team members.  On the other hand, they take vicarious pleasure out of pointing out their team mates’ mistakes. This is why they can never build formidable teams and when people quit, they blame HR guys for giving them the wrong guys.

Now how to effectively manage such sissy characters masquerading as bosses? Well, managing such bosses can be the trickiest job on the earth however good the organisation may be. As long as an employee reports to such a killjoy boss, he can never be satisfied or happy in his life. But for such a useless boss it is not advisable to change the job. Instead it’s better to learn to effectively manage such a pain in the neck boss.  Here’s a list of some suggestions to win over a boss possessing supernatural powers and qualities:-

• Never argue with such a boss as he cannot tolerate any dissenting voices emanating from his team. Always avoid eye contact and say yes with head bowed down in respect. (This will convince him that you are scared of him and hence he will never bother you.)
• Make such a boss realise through flattery that not only his team but the entire organisation is doing so well only because he is a part of it. His mere presence has added so much of value to the organisation and you are proud to be in his team. (His ego will get a lot of massaging and he will smile thinking about your words when he is alone.)
• If the boss is blaming someone for failing to do the job assigned, never defend that person. Support your boss. (This will convince him of his leadership qualities.)
• Such boss is fond of giving unsolicited advice and lectures on the issues he thinks are the most important. Listen to those lectures attentively while pretending to look impressed with eyes wide open. After he finishes, whisper softly the same ideas you read in a management book written by some big shot management guru. You are deeply touched to know your boss’s ideas and that management guru’s ideas are matching. (This will put him on top of the world. Such braggarts never bother to cross check the facts. )
• Whenever he assigns any work, never say no. Say you will do it. He doesn’t usually mention any deadline while assigning work because it’s thrust upon him and he wants to get rid of it as soon as possible. More surprisingly, he won’t even follow up once he has washed his hands off that work. You can take your own sweet time and complete it. (This will make him feel you are giving him a lot of importance. And he will make you an integral part of his team so that he can dumb his work on your head without fear of getting a no in reply.)

Needless to say such bosses are lazy and lacking in any skills to manage the team they are heading. The key to deal with such bosses is: don’t bother them, ignore them as much as you can. Don’t go to them for any work. Rather let them come to you with some work. Speak less in their presence. And last but not the least pretend to look impressed by their so-called innovative ideas. If you do this much, they will leave you alone and the quality of your life (if not career) will go up dramatically.