Posts Tagged ‘Intoxication

We live in stranger times. Socializing on the social networking sites has sadly become all about poking fun at politicians, leaders, film-actors, cricketers, journalists and certain communities.

There’s a parallel universe called Twitter. The inhabitants of this universe are fondly known as tweeple or tweeps. What do these tweeps do? Most of the times they express their ideas on the current affairs. For example:-

  • Narendra Modi should be the next prime minister of India.
  • MMS is taking the country back to the stone age.
  • Team Anna is misguided and its intentions are not noble.
  • Satyameva Jayate is a money making exercise for the actor-turned-crusader Aamir Khan.
  • Shah Rukh Khan is a drug addict who has got an attitude problem.
  • Jr. Mallya is a rich brat with shaky morals who has no right to lecture how the future wives should behave.
  • Sachin Tendulkar should not become the Rajya Sabha MP under this corrupt government.

The list is endless. Hankering after the number of followers, Re-tweets and celebrity bashing are the main objectives. Everyday some or other famous personality becomes the butt of ridicule and victim of endless silly jokes lampooning him or her.

What does all this mean? What do these tweeps gain? Except a few new followers, Re-tweets and ego satisfaction there’s hardly anything else that they may gain.

The more intriguing aspect of this parallel universe is almost every famous person is a villain. It is as if we forget the fact that in the first place it is we the people who have made that person famous. Then why should we have any ill-will feelings towards that famous person aka celebrity?

Today Twitter verified Sagarika Ghose’s account and the entire twitterverse rose up in arms against her. Soon all kinds of jokes lampooning poor Sagarika began to do the rounds on twitter.

What happens when Twitter verifies your account? It is a sign of the fact that you’ve arrived on Twitter. The symbol that one’s Twitter account is verified is something akin to the MP’s car with a red beacon atop. It signifies that you are a VIP on Twitter, and nothing else.

Sagarika Ghose is one of the high profile journalists with quite a good number of followers on Twitter. If Twitter has deemed it fit to verify her account and bless it with that prestigious symbol of verified next to her name on her Twitter page, what’s the big deal?

What will happen when the favourite whipping boy of Twitter Kamaal R Khan’s account gets verified? Will the humour cross all the limits? How will tweeps deal with the not-so-politically-correct tweets emanating from the verified account of Kamaal R Khan?

One also shudders at the thought what will happen when Narendra Modi becomes the prime minister of India? How will the Modi brigade celebrate that occasion on Twitter? Maybe by blocking every anti-Modi tweeple?

There’s a clear cut divide along the caste and religion lines in the country. Some people object to the very term ‘secular’ which according to them has come to mean the appeasement of minorities. There are many people who  don’t like Muslims.

In this age of social media what is scarier is the fact that now people are spiting venom against Muslims openly. Nobody can see their faces since they’re tweeting from the safe cocoons of their houses and therefore they don’t mind expressing their hatred against Muslims without any reservations.

Is so much freedom of expression vis-a-vis Twitter or Facebook a bane or a boon? Another recent example that comes to mind is a tweet from someone whom I’ve come to hugely admire and respect on Twitter.

Mr. Kanchan Gupta is a well-known media personality and when he tweeted, “Mumbaikars: How tough is it for Muslims to find flats? True or part of fake victimhood narrative?” He was referring to an article published in The Hindu dated 03/06/2012. This tweet drew a sharp response from Mrs. Atiya Zaidi and soon there were heated arguments between the two idols whose tweets I immensely enjoy.

The Twitter is a perfect barometer to know which way the wind is blowing. It’s depressing to know that the Muslims are disliked so much and even more depressing is to know that nowadays people are expressing it on public forums. Why and how has the gulf between the two communities become so wide all of a sudden?

When the members of intelligentsia become so vocal about their dislike of a particular community, what hopes or expectations can one have from the common men? Twitter opens our eyes to a scary reality if not addressed properly on time, nobody can complain that there were no warning signals.

May the peace prevail forever. Amen.






The Bangaloreans are in for a treat today. It has been raining in Bangalore. What a pleasant weather the rains have brought along with them! Can it get any better than this? Perhaps no. Till yesterday it had been hot and humid. The sun was harsh. But today it has gone missing somewhere behind the dark clouds that have been looming large above Bangalore.

To add to the charm further, the cool wind is blowing. The tiny drops of rains are feeling so cold against the body that there’s a palpable relief on the face of every Bangalorean who has been braving the heat and humidity for over past month now. Every Bangalorean is expressing joy at the unexpected yet much needed rains and are doing whatever they can to welcome them with open arms.

Nobody is ruing the fact that the rains may not allow the game between RCB and CSK at Chinnaswamy Stadium. The happiness that is pouring through the rains is far greater than fours and sixes a Gayle innings might induce. There are puddles everywhere. Everybody wants a slice of this perfect weather. This is why one can see people out on the roads and streets.

The traffic is at its peak as usual. But the cold weather has miraculously calmed down the hot tempers the motorists usually subject themselves to. There is smile everywhere. The relief is in the air as the Bangaloreans bite into the the tempting looking ice-cream cups or sip the smoking hot cups of coffee while exchanging familiar nudge-nudge wink-wink glances at one another.

Everybody wants the rains to stay as long as they want to so that the earth reeling under the brutal sun can quench her thirst. The household fans are taking much needed break with their blades having grown tired of manufacturing air for their masters. The ACs have fallen silent as the windows are open and they are attracting cool breeze along with untamed drops of rains.

The rains, the dark clouds and the wind – if put together – can be a deadly combination for those who want to relax and have a good time. Their combined effect has never felt so enchanting as this before. Long live Bangalore weather for having cheered us up with these heavenly drops of rains.


There are many talented heroines around. The show business is one such cruel business that demands one’s pound of flesh day in and day out. Nowadays it is becoming increasingly difficult for the celebs to remain in the limelight with so many juicy stories making their way into the Breaking News category.

Considering all the challenges apart from pros and cons of being a public figure, there is one celebrity who has managed to keep her head above the water. She is the very bold and beautiful, one and only Bhairavi Goswami. Recently she has been in the news following the release of her latest erotic thriller “Hate Story”. My respect for her is growing by day as I go through the retweets after retweets admiring her boldness complete with the references to the certain parts of the female anatomy.

Bhairavi Goswami has what it takes to be. She has the looks to kill and the loads of attitude – enough to convince anybody that she is a down to earth sex bomb who won’t turn her  nose up at the mention of the unmentionable body parts. She has no double standards or holier-than-thou approach when it comes to the oomph factor. Therefore it is not surprising to see the list of her admirers growing by the day.

The most outstanding quality of Bhairavi Goswami’s charisma is her ability to connect to the masses without coming across as someone who is fake and does what she’s doing for the sake of publicity. There’s pure sincerity in whatever she does be it rewarding the fans by retweeting their tweets or sharing her pictures to create excitement. At no point of time one gets the impression that she is promoting herself or her upcoming films.

The reason for such positive vibes is she believes in entertaining the masses without any artificial barriers. She reaches out to the fans in a more direct way so as to leave them delighted beyond words. All her contemporaries should learn a few tricks from her book with respect to the PR vis-a-vis the subtle art of self-promotion.

Her bio reads that Bhairavi is uncut, unedited and unapologetic. Now rarely there is anybody who carries all these three attributes with as much panache as Bhairavi does. There is a very thin line between being bold and being vulgar. Bhairavi knows not to cross that line with the caution of a seasoned professional. There have been many heroines in the past who had earned the sobriquets like “Sex Bomb” and “Sex Symbol”. But none of them has been able to carry them off so well as Bhairavi does.

She has become the hottie with a golden heart within no time. After Zeenat Aman and Mandakini, India had been in search of a genuine sex symbol. In between the likes of Bipashas and Mallikas came and went. None of them could capture the imagination of the entire nation for a long time. For a brief period of time, Rakhi Sawant tried to flirt her way into the nation’s consciousness. But the fans could see through her cheap gimmicks and soon she ended up as the butt of ridicule.

But Bhairavi Goswami is here to stay. What makes her tick (apart from her killer looks) is her pragmatic approach to handle her stardom in a balanced manner. She is always well-behaved. Hardly you come across fans complaining about her tantrums or mood swings. She has been gifted with a very understanding temperament that helps her keep her  feet on the ground. She knows the fame is transient. She ought to make the most of it as long as it lasts.

Perhaps this is what explains her calm and mature responses to the fans’ admiration for her body bordering on lust. She is aware of her USP and that’s why she wants to flaunt it boldly. Lest her fans should  be under the impression that their “Dream Girl” exists only on the celluloid that in turn exists in the darkness of the multiplexes or cinema halls. Once they step out, she is like the dream that evaporated when the eyes opened. She knows that she has successfully become the Dream Girl but the challenge is not to give away that coveted place to any of her competitors.

She is on the right path. India is mature enough to admire and appreciate the strategy of self-promotion Bhairavi Goswami has adopted. As long as she keeps her head on her shoulder, she will grown only from strength to strength. That’s Bhairavi Goswami for you – the uncut, unedited and unapologetic.

Vijay Mallya must be a relieved man. Employees of Kingfisher Airlines must be more relieved than Mallya. Poor Vijay Mallya has been going through tough times of late following Deepika Padukone’s unceremonious dumping of Sidharth Mallya a few months back. More than the jilted lover his father suffered a blow and poor employees of Kingfisher Airlines had to pay the price.

So many jokes have been doing the round about the beleaguered Mallya and his almost defunct airlines. Sometimes Mallya himself adds fuel to the fire by blaming his woes on the malice of paid news. The king of good times has been at the receiving end. This is why perhaps he chose to settle the issue of pending salaries of the employees of Kingfisher Airlines on the eve of the fifth season of much-awaited IPL.

Perhaps Vijay Mallya is aware that his beer guzzling images with arm candies leaning on his side while he is watching his team play at various venues across the country is bound to provide gist to the rumour mills. All sorts of allegations are sure to fly thick and fast. He will come under increasing media scrutiny and become the butt of ridicule on various social networking sites. To avoid all this he has done the most sensible thing by declaring his plan to pay off the salaries in two phases.

Whether the harried employees receive the promised pending salaries or not remains to be soon. But at the moment guns have fallen silent and the focus is slowly shifting on to the IPL 5 and Vijay Mallya owned Royal Challengers.

We are an entertainment loving nation. We get a kick out of poking fun at famous and successful people. It’s not that we don’t like successful people or we are jealous of their popularity. When someone who is larger than life errs or does something that he or she is not supposed to do, all knives come out baying for his or her blood.

Nobody can replace Suhel Sheth when it comes to taking pot shots at politicians or anything under the sun for that matter on the television. He is a fearless orator who believes in calling a spade a spade. There are very few courageous speakers like him. This is why every channel loves to have him on their show. He brings to the table that power packed punch required to add to the oomph factor in the debates that take place in the television studios.

Suhel Seth is a delight to watch when he is in his elements. There’s no stopping him when he starts speaking. His famous catch phrase includes, “Iss hamam mein sub nange hai” that brings smile to the lips of viewers, anchors and participants alike. But then there are his detractors who want Suhel Seth out of their ear shots. He doesn’t spare anyone when it comes to standing up and taking the stand. Therefore, it is natural for such a person to have enemies.

We may not like what Suhel Seth does or says on television. We may not agree with him all the time. We may not like Vijay Mallya’s flamboyancy and the reports of such a rich man not paying his employees’ salaries on time may be disturbing to us. But why do we have to poke fun at them? They are mortar beings with their flaws. Can’t we take a look at their achievements and give them the benefits of doubts for a while before jumping to the conclusions?

All these big people are made up of different stuff. When the going gets tough, the tough get going is the mantra they believe in. Both Suhel Seth and Vijay Mallya may be in their early fifties. What makes them easy targets of people’s ire is their swashbuckling life styles not withstanding their respective ages. But when you have scaled those high peaks of dizzying heights, do you really care enough?

Whether people shower their adulation on Vijay Mallya and Suhel Seth or make fun of their accents, hair styles and the way they dress up not to mention things they say in public, they will keep bouncing back. Whether we love them or hate them, we cannot ignore them. That’s Vijay Mallya and Suhel Seth for you. The show must go on.

What a dance of democracy! Nobody can match our politicians when it comes to entertainment. Even the supposed blockbuster Agent Vinod bombed on the box-office Kareena Kapoor’s mujra not withstanding. There are times when our films and film stars have failed to provide us any real entertainment. But these politicians know the importance of entertainment. And this is precisely why they, time and again, step into the shoes of film folks and serve us tasty dishes of entertainment till we cry out, “Enough now.”

How else can you explain Sharad Yadav’s outburst against Team Anna for abusing the MPs and the temple of democracy? Our rulers are above everything. The subjects have no right to criticise them or call them names. The rulers are innocent and their position in the Parliament is sacrosanct. Dare raise voice against them and be ready to get persecuted. All politicians cutting across the party lines will stand united and ensure even the slightest hint of opposition against their ilk dies a natural death.

As if all this were not enough, we have a story of the army chief being offered a bribe of high sum for the purchase of army trucks belonging to a particular manufacturing company. As soon as the story is out, allegations and counter allegations begin to fly thick and fast. All sorts of theories start doing the rounds. The poor army chief becomes the butt of all sorts of joke. The Defense Minister too is not spared and the trial by media gets underway with the entire country sitting in the judgement.

This is the real dance of democracy where anybody is welcome. The proceedings are televised and the whole country can partake. There’s nothing wrong in it. This is the hallmark of a truly vibrant democracy. But there is something that doesn’t quite jell well. What’s that? All this hyperbole masquerading as freedom of speech borders on voyeurism. The real issues get buried. The work doesn’t happen. The politicians at whom cameras are trained begin to act like actors who are under tremendous pressure to get the lines right and make the scenes they are enacting as memorable as possible.

With the film industry looking so bereft of new ideas and newer acting talents, it should consider shifting its responsibility of entertaining people to these wily politicians who know the pulse of the nation and will leave no stones unturned in making the TRPs soar as high as the sky and break all previous box-office records. Any takers?






Dear Twitter,

Today everybody is congratulating you for turning a six years old baby. I too want to congratulate you. But I don’t want to do so in 140 characters since I have a lot to say to you. I don’t know whether you will read what I write for you. There’s no harm in trying, is there? Who knows you might sit up and take notice?

You are six years old but my love-affair with you is only two years old. Let me tell you (I know many people have told you before what I’m going to say now) that you are a great place to be. You brought me face to face with countless people I admire and long to be with. I had never imagined in my wildest dream that one day I would meet them. So what if I can’t see their faces? Reading what they share on you is more than enough for me since it gives me a fair idea about their personalities.

I spend time on you to feel good. There are lots of funny people whose tweets lift my mood and make my day. I am sure you know them. In case you don’t know them, they are Gabbar Singh, Ramesh Srivat, Fake IPL Player, Satan Bhagat, Faking News, Namrata Joshi, Ghanta Guy, Joydas, Sarcasan and how can I forget Kamal R Khan? Their perky tweets leave a goofy smile although I envy their fan following on you and always lament the fact that I don’t have as many followers as they have. More on this later.

I enjoy reading the tweets of high profile media personalities like Rajdeep Sardesai, Sachin Kalbag, Nikhil Waghle, Kanchan Gupta, B Dutt, Sagarika Ghose, Bhupendra Chaubey, Dibang, Diptosh Majumdar, Ayaz Memon and supremely talented Pritish Nandy a lot. They always inform their followers on the latest news doing the round and leave them with some or other food for thoughts. The whole nation waits for Rajdeep Sardesai’s good night tweets. It is only after he wishes good night to his followers, the nation heaves a sigh of relief and goes to bed.

Please don’t ask me to comment on the film industry wallahs. They are on you to promote their upcoming flicks without giving much thought about their crazy followers with the sole exceptions of Gul Panag and Anupam Kher who are kind enough to mention their fans in their replies. But they are all big people. Talking about them is like spitting on the sky. The less said abut them, the better it is.

You know what else? You are always teaching me new expressions. One example is “that awkward moment”. I love “that awkward moment”. Thank you for this one expression as it describes the mood or situation aptly if used appropriately. What to say about your list of trending topics! I mean I am speechless. Had there been no list of trending topics on you, this blog would have been dead by now. It’s only thanks to the list of trending topics, I have managed to write sixty plus posts.

Having given you the gist of all the positive qualities you have, let me bring to your notice some of the drawbacks and challenges I encounter on you. Well, it so happens that those who have followers on you indeed have extremely good time. Their TL is always overflowing with the mentions they receive from their followers. But those who don’t have followers begin to feel like in no man’s land after sometime. They heavily rely upon someone with good number of followers to retweet their tweets to spread the information. Not everybody is kind enough to retweet. If you ask someone to follow you or retweet your tweets, you are bound to become a butt of joke.

I would like to suggest that you should come out with a set of guidelines to follow certain twitter etiquette so that tweeple with relatively unknown background don’t feel that lonely. Another thing is when you disagree with some tweets and express your disagreement, you get labeled as troll. Isn’t it unfair? Ultimately who should have the right to decide who is a troll and who is a decent tweeple?

On your sixth birthday I am giving you some food for thought.  Please ponder over the suggestions I have given and see if you can come out with something useful. Meanwhile have a rocking birthday. Once again thanking you for being there for me. Whenever I’ve looked up to you in melancholic times, you’ve brought me smiles within no time.

I wish I can thank you enough.

Love as always,

Yours Truly,

A Twitter Fan From India.


Lalit Modi is a very nice man. He has done a big favour to the cricket crazy nation like India by having launched IPL. In the process, he has made the BCCI rich, many cricketers richer and has given the film-stars a golden opportunity to stay in the limelight for all the reasons right or wrong. The name of Lalit Modi will go down in history as someone who tortured the Indian cinema goers with an utterly ridiculous flick like Ra-One. How? Had Shah Rukh Khan not bought KKR, he wouldn’t have got enough money to make Ra-One and we all would have been spared from the traumatic three hours of watching it.

Lalit Modi is the man responsible for Shashi Tharoor’s marriage to Sunanda Pushker. It was he who made things easier for the dapper Mr Tharoor by tweeting about his interest in Sunanda Pushker and setting the couple up nicely for the marital bliss. Had he not done so, Mr. Tharoor would still be pulling his hair out thinking about how to propose to Sunanda Madam. As we all know Mr Vijay Mallya’s passion for sports in general and the cheer leaders in particular, it was Lalit Modi who made it possible for him to import the scantily clad cheer leaders from the USA.

The more one talks about Lalit Modi’s favours to the world cricket and the upper strata of the society, the less it is. One has to write a book of several hundred pages to do justice to the immense contribution this man has made and continues to make even as I write this piece in his honour. Everybody wants to have a friend like Lalit Modi as he is the man of all seasons.

The icing on the cake is when Lalit Modi learnt of his poor countrymen living on a paltry sum of Rs. 28/- per day, his heart went out to those poor people. And as a result, since he is a man of action, he has decided to take a vow of a simple living by abandoning the luxurious and lavish life he has been leading until now. To make things easier for this extraordinary son of the soil, the London Court has come to the rescue by declaring him bankrupt so that he cannot change his mind at the last minute.

The word out there is he failed to pay the Page Group – an international securities and risk assessment company – the fee of Rs 53 lakhs for the services provided in the year 2010. Nobody is ready to believe this news to be true. Lalit Modi is a generous human being who gave away crores of rupees to Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shashtri just to sing the praises of IPL on air. How can such a man of impeccable integrity and sound character refuse to pay the monies for the securities and risk assessment knowing he has plenty of enemies out there?

The world has no idea how simple a person Lalit Modi is. Everybody who supported him for his IPL venture has made millions of dollars. Whereas the brain behind the venture has given it all up for his destitute fellow countrymen. Living on Rs 28 abroad is going to be a tough challenge for this 21st century saint. But he is not the one to shy away from the challenges however tough they may be. Keeping all this in mind, it is going to be really interesting to see how he pulls this-living-on-Rs.-28 per day off successfully.

Nowadays social media is a big hit. It is the in thing. All the action is happening on twitter and facebook. Most of the times Breaking  News gets broken on twitter. Before the arrival of twitter nobody knew that 140 characters would one day come to rule our existence and these 140 characters would become the power house of information on anything under the sun. Everybody wants to jump on the bandwagon called twitter. You name the celebrity, he or she is on twitter. You name the media house, it is on twitter.

Having highlighted the easy part that everybody is on twitter, let me move on to the difficult part. Once you are on twitter, what next? Not everybody can succeed on twitter. It is the most cruel place on the planet if you are a NOBODY. But it is the sweetest place if you are a SOMEBODY. The moment a celebrity signs up on twitter, not only it becomes the headlines of the next day’s dailies but also fellow celebs start giving warm welcome by shouting out the newbie and urging their followers to show some love (read follow this new celebrity as well).

Needless to say within no time the message goes viral and that celebrity has got more followers than the entire population of Sri Lanka and Bangladesh put together faster than you can say twitter. The moral of the story is followers flock to the celebrities like the honeybees flock to the honey. They shower so much of love and bombard them with so many welcome tweets that the celebrity gets overwhelmed with joy and cannot thank enough.The same story gets repeated every time a new celebrity signs up on twitter.

There are no prizes for guessing what goes on in this virtual space. Film actors promote their upcoming flicks. Out of work film actors flirt with danger and try to create controversies to gain some free publicity. Journalists inform. Authors promote their latest books. Politicians give a detailed account of itinerary. Business tycoons tweet about their new ventures.

Amidst all the who’s who of the nation what does the common man do without any followers? Well, he has no business to be on twitter in the first place. But then who will follow these film actors, politicians, journalists and business tycoons? The common man is a mute spectator. He has no say. If he asks tough questions, he is a troll. Well, this is not the end of this story. There is one very interesting breed of quasi-celebrities on twitter. These people spice up your timeline by poking fun at the celebrities, government, government policies or politicians. In popularity they are second to film stars. Even some film stars follow such quasi-celebrities keenly.

So is twitter a ban or a boon? It is a fantastic medium to spread important messages in case of emergencies, natural calamities and during terror strikes. Again when some misinformation is doing the rounds about any larger-than-life figure, it is the fantastic tool to clear the air by tweeting his/her side of the story.But sometimes people misuse this platform by creating false accounts impersonating well-known personalities and spite venom. This doesn’t go on forever as the fake get exposed sooner than later and the accounts get suspended.

Sometimes these big people try to massage their bigger egos on twitter and it is at this time when a common man can have a laugh at their expense. For example, Vijay Mallya tweeted to appreciate his son’s speech at the ongoing IT Conclave. This is hilarious coming as it does from a man who doesn’t let go of any opportunity to lash out at media for highlighting the woes of his beleaguered KFA. I wonder why nobody has started lampooning his tweets as yet.

Sometimes the passing away of some public figure creates an orgy of tributes for the deceased on twitter. The celebrities feel compelled to tweet about it and the mask slips off in the process. This is a wrong precedent as some feelings of grief are more genuine and spontaneous if expressed in private. This type of show of loss is a put on act carried out for the benefits of followers and nobody is a winner in the bargain.

Last but not the least, when a film does well or a cricketer scores a century, there is a competition amongst celebrities to be the first to congratulate the achiever on twitter. This leads to farcical situations as the congratulatory message lacks conviction and sounds half-baked. But everything is momentary on twitter including the attention span of the followers. What is a trending topic today will be a long forgotten topic the next day. This is what makes twitter so addictive for when you are addicted to something, you tend to ignore all the side effects at your own peril.

Enjoy twitter and be happy. It’s a great entertainment with all its doors open roundthe clock. However, sometimes right to admission solely rests with twitter.



When was the last time we had two slappers hogging the limelight all through the day? It doesn’t happen everyday, does it? Mamata Banerjee’s nephew Akash Banerjee and Sharad Pawar’s slapper hogged the limelight right through the day. Poor Sharad Pawar’s slapper has been receiving severe beatings from some unknown men ever since he planted that controversial slap on the equally controversial cheek of Sharad Pawar. His plight is getting highlighted by media because even the police are unwilling to register a case and bring the guilty to book.

The second slapper of the day is  the West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee’s nephew Akash Banerjee. Akash Banerjee allegedly slapped a traffic cop who is said to have booked him for some minor offence. Upon learning his close links with Didi the police let him off. But as soon as the mercurial Didi learnt of the incident, she ordered her nephew be arrested again so that the law could take its course. This is really one of the most innovative ways of remaining in the news. The other day a Hindi Film Super Star created ripples across the country by slapping a hapless nobody in a party. Needless to say he got plenty of publicity. Last week, another aspiring Super Star fractured a nose that belonged to a wealthy businessman NRI and earned truckload of free publicity for his upcoming (supposedly) magnum opus that looks like a dud going by the promos on the TV channels.

When these film stars can slap and walk away  leaving their victims red-faced and  nose fractured, how can we expect the politicians or their relatives to remain quiet? Nowadays a slap can get you plenty of free publicity for a day. A slap is a novel way of getting into a controversy.  The moment people receive the news of some poor soul becoming a victim of a slap, they get curious to know why this slap and who slapped whom? The echo of that slap is so loud that it gets heard across all social networks.  It is by the same token that Akash Banerjee became a celebrity for slapping a traffic cop who had shown the guts to book him for some offence. Akash Banerjee is a nice chap. Nobody could believe him for having indulged in such inappropriate behaviour when this news initially broke. People thought it was a case of mistaken identity. But now it is an established fact that he indeed slapped a traffic cop. What could be the reason for this provocation? Why someone as decent as Akash Banerjee could do something as indecent as slapping a traffic cop? There’s certainly more to it than what meets the eye.

Sources close to Akash Banerjee say he has been upset at the way Sharad Pawar’s slapper is being ill-treated by some unknown men. He has been upset at the entire police force that has not offered any security guards to Sharad Pawar’s slapper. When a person slaps a VIP, he too becomes a VIP. This is why he has every right to get the VIP treatment. Since the police and the public have failed to recognise Sharad Pawar’s slapper as a VIP, Akash Banerjee has taken this drastic step to express his solidarity with Sharad Pawar’s slapper. Now he knows what it feels like to be a slapper. It is a crowning glory that doesn’t come easily. It is a revolutionary step which is bound to set a new trend in the contemporary India – a trend of giving due respect to the slappers and shoe-throwers.

Long live Akash Banerjee!


Virat Kohli – India’s right-handed middle order batsman – is in the news for showing his middle finger to the SCG crowd at Sydney. The reason for this action is while fielding near the boundary line, the cricketer received abuses from the Australian spectators directed at his mother and sister. As a result he lost his temper and ended up showing his middle finger to the crowd. This action has landed him in controversy now.

The Indian Cricket Team has been under tremendous pressure after winning the World-Cup Trophy at home last year in April. At present they are touring Down Under where the hosts are traumatizing our champions by preparing green top wickets. Ricky Ponting aka Punter has played himself back into the form by murdering the Indian bowling attack on the wickets that are undoubtedly helping him. Our Batting Maestro Sachin Tendulkar has got off to a good start. But unfortunately, much to everyone’s dismay his hundredth hundred has been elusive so far on this tour.

Given the mental state of the Indian players who are sweating it out to beat the formidable Aussies at their own backyard, it hardly comes as a surprise for someone as young and as temperamental as Virat Kohli to have responded to the provocation in that manner. He is under duress. The Indian fans can surely understand what he along with the entire team is going through. At the same time one cannot help but admire his courage to show the middle finger to the hostile crowd in a foreign land.

He is really a lion-hearted cricketer who decided to let his middle finger do the talking instead of his exploits with the willow. Out there in the middle he did it with more than a dozen cameras trained on him. Instead of vilifying the poor lad, we should idolize him. For the young cricketers like Virat Kohli represent the face of the young and aggressive India. Gone are the days when an Indian can be bullied on the foreign soil by the natives. He is confident now. He won’t take anything lying down. He will bounce back. The reason? He is successful not only in his own country but anywhere in the world.  And he likes to wear his success on his sleeve for the entire world to see.

Coming back to Virat Kohli and his middle finger, we all must unite in defending  this dare-devilry. The Australian press is likely to milk the incident to show the touring World Champions in poor light. The match-referee too may contemplate some punishment for the stylish and brave right-handed batsman.  This can be demoralizing for him and the entire team.  Here are a few suggestions to fend off the Aussie criticism and to boost the morale of our champions out there in the hostile conditions.

  • Virat Kohli is through gentleman. He was not showing the middle-finger to the unruly crowd. He was checking the finger out since he had injured it badly during the net session earlier in the day.
  • This incident is blown out of proportion. It smacks of some deep-rooted conspiracy to malign the World Champions who have so far not reacted to the Aussie players’s sledging.
  • The crowd was hired to provoke the touring side into abandoning the match since the hosts were finding it too difficult to face their bowling attack.
  • We all must urge Kapil Sibbal to demand the ban on the crowd behaviour after preparing the list of swear words that were hurled at Virat Kohli.
  • The crowd was sent in by Greg Chappell as a ruse to deflect Sachin Tendulkar’s concentration.
  • The crowd was jealous of the success of “Why This Kolaveri Di” and it took it out on the hapless Virat Kohli.
  • The BCCI must dispatch Mr Subramanian Swamy to Australia to defend Virat Kohli because he is the Virat Hindu who finds himself up against the scheming Aussies who are jealous of India’s status as the reigning World Champions.

Support for our champions is the need of the hour. As dedicated fans, this is the least we can do. The enemy is smart and he has smelt blood. We can demoralize him by showing solidarity with the Team India. Then it will be only a matter of time when the Captain Cool bounces back and the Batting Maestro rediscovers his touch to scale the height we all have been waiting for so eagerly.

Chuck De India!!!!

Wow....!!! This Much Love.....!!!!

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