Dream

Leader of Goat Writes an Open Letter

Posted on: May 10, 2013

Dear Ministers & Political Leaders,

I am the leader of all the goats and lambs in India. The intention of this open letter is to make the voice of my community members heard. My name is Lamb and I live in the vicinity of 10 Janpath. Today one of our community members has made our community proud.

At the young age of seven months, Chulbul has sacrificed herself to save the portfolio of one of the ministers who finds himself embroiled into the charges of corruption. Our intelligence report suggests that demand for my young community members is only going to go up as more scandals are likely to tumble out in the days leading to the general elections.

The mango man of this country may not know why high and mighty sacrifice young members of my community. Today one goat is sacrificed. And thanks to TV news channels entire country has come to know the important role we goats and lambs play in running the governments at both central and state levels.

The secret behind sacrificing us is we have direct connection with god. We can enter god’s room any time without knocking. We can barge into any high level meeting god is presiding over. We can wake up god from sleep any time. God loves us. He listens to our pleas and requests. He is accessible to us any time. This is why when our netas are in neck deep troubles, they come knocking at our doors. Before sending us to the Heaven, they tell the member who is chosen what exact message they want delivered to god.

This practise has been in fashion since time immemorial. Netas belonging to the ruling party (at the Centre) are our prime customers as more often than not it is they who end up as the targets of opposition’s sting operations and are exposed. When they fall out of High Command’s good books, they seek divine intervention and get in touch with us.

We never fail to deliver. My members are trained specifically for the purpose carrying netas’ messages to god in code languages so that the opposition doesn’t know what messages have gone up there. After my member reaches up there, Party High Command changes her/his mind within no time and ministers about to be shown the door are promoted up the order. The spin doctors successfully dress up that promotion of minister as some sort of punishment for the alleged misdeeds to calm down growing anger of mango men.

However, what is sad is after using our services the political class keep us at arm’s length. In many cases, ministers have promised the kith and kin of sacrificed members jobs and various government perks entitled to the VVIPs. But there has been no change in the condition of my community. None of the promises has been kept to our dismay. Even media persons ignored and refused to cover us for fear of offending the political class.

Today let it be known to the entire world that next sacrifice will not happen until special quotas in railways and civil aviation are reserved for my community members. The kith and kin of Chulbul (the goat sacrificed today) have placed a demand on record that one percent of amount taken in bribe must immediately be shared with them. Unless this happens, minister’s message will not be delivered to god and minister will get the boot in all likelihood.

I sincerely hope that following world wide attention we have received on social networking sites, netas will learn a lesson and start treating us with the respect we deserve.

Yours Faithfully.
Lamb.
All India Leader of Goat and Sheep Association.

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