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Posts Tagged ‘Humour

Twitter is a happening place nowadays. Twitter is a barometer of the pulse of the nation. Many observers have compared Twitter to that famous tea shop in a typical village square where people gather to exchange the latest gossip. You can either love Twitter or hate Twitter but you cannot ignore Twitter.

The year 2013 saw many remarkable incidents happening on Twitter. There are a few tweeps who are decent, follow good manners and have strong views and opinions on almost everything under the sun. What’s even more interesting is these tweeps air their views on Twitter fearlessly and relentlessly. And knowingly or unknowingly they entertain or inform you through their witty tweets day in and day out.

Noopur is that tweep who enjoys to express her opinions on Twitter. She has got a lot of funny ideas too. She always makes it a point to interact with her followers. She is fearless. She is highly opinionated. She is fun but she knows her limits too. She is the most entertaining Twitter personality of 2013. Here’s my detailed interview with her. Read her insightful answers and follow her. She has nearly 1,500 followers but refuses to call herself a Twitter Celebrity.

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1. You’ve completed around three years on Twitter. And let me congratulate you for successfully transforming yourself from a girl next door to a Twitter celebrity whose tweets get retweets and responses in double digit, how does it feel?

Ans. I opened my account 3 years back, but i started tweeting only from July 2012, as i wanted to congratulate and wish good luck to our Indian team for London Olympics. I have never joined twitter to transform myself into a celebrity but only to lighten my mood and put my views on a social networking platform. I would like to believe that I am still the GIRL NEXT DOOR. I started my journey from zero followers and by playing twitter contests. For the first time I strongly expressed my opinion on #DelhiGangRape, the incident which – I feel – almost shattered the people of country. Post that it was India-Pakistan match and my tweets got recognised by many and I liked the way I got RT’s and responses from tweeps. My journey started from there.

2. As you’ve experienced so often that no longer TV is needed to know the breaking news. Twitter is where all big stories break regularly. Do you see this phenomenon growing in the years to come? Will more and more sensational stories break on Twitter first before capturing the imagination of the TV news anchors? If yes, is this good for the traditional reporting or journalism or does it have a serious competition and this is precisely it should reinvent itself?

Ans. Sometimes breaking of a big story on twitter might mislead people and spread rumours. I don’t consider Twitter as a source of breaking news. Also, few times strong stories fail. Twitter outrage is a fad. I am on Twitter but I still listen to DD News and read The Hindu newspaper in the morning. Now you can only judge how much competition it gives to the traditional source of news.

3. I have many a times noticed your tweets which are critical of cellular service providers or are creating awareness about some bad product or service or are questioning film critics for giving biased reviews of the just released flicks. Why do you like to speak up? Is the crusader in you angry all the time? Or is it because you know that Twitter will get you desired attention? People will hear you and those who are trying to spread misinformation will know that they cannot fool people as easily as that? Please tell my readers about Noopur the crusader.

Ans. I feel very disappointed with the customer service we get in India, not only in cellular service but also pizza delivery, poor quality of products and customer care person not speaking and responding properly. It is just annoying that we buy products trusting them and then chase the brand to help us out. Customer service in India is very rude and I think its only social media where we can reach the brand directly and can tell them where they are going wrong.

Coming to film reviews, yes I oppose biased reviews. I am not angry all the time neither I criticize everything. I liked Lootera, Bullett Raja, Lunchbox, Madras Cafe, etc a lot and wrote about them too. Whatever is the truth, it should be spoken out. And I’m of the opinion that every individual has her own views. I don’t do anything just to gain attention. In fact, to tell you the truth, I have regretted a lot many times when I had tweeted something insane and got noticed instantly.

4. On Twitter you seem to love 140 characters. Do you ever wish that tweets should not have this limit of 140 characters?

Ans. I love expressing myself through the written words. Apart from composing tweets, I have also written poems and articles. Getting yourself limited to 140 characters and airing your views accordingly is an art by itself to me.

5. When you are in a good mood, you have a lot of fun by tagging celebrities in your tweets asking them seemingly harmless but humorous question. Is it a technique to lift your mood or to make your followers smile? Or are you trying to figure out whether these celebrities handle their accounts on their own or outsource this job to their PRs? What’s your view?

Ans. I love getting replies from celebrities, who else wouldn’t love it? I remember getting reply from Amitabh Bachchan. When that had happened, the whole day I had been in the paradise. Asking funny and humorous questions – though looks stupid – lifts my mood. It may sound insane but honestly speaking I laugh at my own jokes sometimes after tweeting them. I like giving compliments to people. And if being funny makes others smile there is nothing wrong in it. It is indeed an honour that I made someone smile. I do sometimes try to figure out whether the handle is outsourced to the PR’s, but if a celebrity really want to connect with their fans and followers, they should take out sometime and spend that time with us. Not all of us are rude contrary to what they may like to believe.

6. What’s the secret formula to get followers? When tweeps ask for a follow back, what’s your strategy to say no?

Ans. Haha. I have never joined twitter to gain followers. Also my followers count has increased slowly but steadily. That said, I am happy that those who follow me and interact with me and support my views. There are many tweeps who ask for a follow back. If someone does so, I keep a check on their tweets and with the passage of time if i like their tweets, I do oblige them by following back.

7. With the general election round the corner, so many politicians and their supporters are joining Twitter. Do you think it will have any impact on the final outcome of the election?

Ans. No. All educated people are on twitter and are wise enough to understand what is right and what is wrong. Connecting to people is one thing and promoting politics is another.

8. Do you come across abusive trolls? How do you keep them in check? How do you keep your calm and don’t allow online abuse to affect you in any way?

Ans. Frankly, I don’t get many but if I get, I tend to ignore them. You cannot control abusive trolls. I don’t lose my temper but take it in a funny way. Sometimes this approach annoys the trolls more. Also, If you can’t handle the trolls, don’t troll and comment on others. Whats goes around comes around.

9. Being a Twitter celebrity, what’s your advice to people out there who want to join Twitter?

Ans. Join twitter to air your views and read what others tweet in a sporting way. And refrain from abusing others by masking your true self under the guise of anonymity.

10. Every day so many hashtags trend. Any favourite hashtags of yours? Any favourite tweets of yours would you like to share that received so many retweets and you would pick it up as the tweet of 2013?

Ans. #LetterToMyHair was one of the best hashtags of 2013. Two of my tweets are my personal favourites.

1. Actually in reality Pillow is your life partner.

2. In UP, bijli appears only in Bhojpuri songs. Rest is a myth there.

11. Finally, many tweeps accuse you of being a boy under the guise of a girl. What would you like to tell them? Would you also like to clarify something else or give some message to your followers?

Ans. I don’t want to give any explanation. I always feel astonished to see how others are interested in your personal life on social media. I enjoy reading whatever people infer about me.

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Title :- Prodigy Of Errors

Author :- Manisha Gupta

Publisher :- Partridge India (Penguin)

Pages :- 240

To tell the readers right at the beginning of this review of ‘Prodigy Of Errors’ that its writer Manisha Gupta is a hugely gifted and talented writer and you will enjoy reading her first work of fiction titled ‘Prodigy Of Errors’ will be akin to serving desert before the main course.

But such is the lucidity of Manisha Gupta’s prose that much as I hate, I’m complled to admit that this novel leaves the reader marvelling at the deft use of language and uncanny word plays that are ready to seduce the reader into the make believe world Manisha Gupta has created so masterfully between the pages of ‘Prodigy Of Errors’.

This novel tells the story of a girl next door Nitya. Nitya herself is the narrator and she is successful in grabbing her reader’s undivided attention in the first few pages only which is a huge achievement for any story-teller. Nitya is not a super woman. She is way below an average woman. Her life is full of goofy misunderaventures told through 28 chapters in a style that evokes both laughter and sadness in equal measure.

We find ourselves laughing at Nitya because the mistakes she committs are so silly. At the same time, we feel a twinge of sadness for this girl next door who somehow finds herself in no man’s land for no fault of hers most of the times. ‘Prodigy Of Errors’ has 240 pages and all these pages are full of funny and cantankerous characters but the heroine is unarguably Nitya whose life interests the reader the most almost at once.

I found this chapter 19 ‘In Exile with Daniel Sir’ the most hilarious. It describes Nitya’s first crush with her music teacher who doesn’t give her second glance and whose yearning for some other woman leaves Nutya hallucinating much to the amazement of the reader.

The strict father, moody husband, cunning roommates at the hostel, prankster friends, loneliness, assassination of a famous political leader followed by a retaliatory communal bloodbath and not to mention an overseas trip are what make ‘Prodigy Of Errors’ such a forceful and racy read. The punch at the end of each and every chapter makes the reader want to finish this novel as fast as possible.

Manisha Gupta comes across as a bold and unique novelist who has the guts to choose this type of subject and story line for her debut novel. Normally, when we are writing our first work of fiction, we tend to portray central characters as having all super natural powers to overcome any tough challenges. But Manisha Gupta surprises her reader by her simple yet in-your-face portrayal of not so larger-than-life Nitya who begins to tug at your heart strings by the time you reach the last page of ‘Prodigy Of Errors’. Do pick up this book. It’s worth going for.

The verdict is ‘Prodigy Of Errors’ is a highly recommended book to read and savour forever.

Today world saw a new side of Rahul Gandhi. Since he is a shy politician and avoids publicity, his PR was instructed not to blow the incident out of proportion. But somehow this incident has come to light and everybody is talking about it. Obviously, Rahul Gandhi is livid and has decided to fire his PR for this gaffe.

In a nutshell, the much talked about story goes like this. A young boy knocks at the window of a car in which Rahul Baba is travelling. It turns out that the young boy wants to sell Rahul Baba a newspaper. Though Rahul Baba has already read all the dailies of the day on his mini iPad, he doesn’t want to disappoint the young boy and buys a paper from him. Rahul Baba pays him 1000 rupees for a single newspaper after inquiring as to why he was not at school.

This is the story being peddled by the PR chaps hired by RG Baba. The whole world seems to have lapped it up without doubt. But insiders are miffed at what is being told to the people. The real story is totally different. All of a sudden the AC of Rahul Baba’s car broke down. Now this is the summer season. Unfortunately, the support staff had forgotten to carry tissues with which Rahul Baba could wipe his sweat beads on forehead. Suddenly, they saw this boy selling newspapers at the traffic signal.

The support staff approached the boy and purchased all his newspapers for one thousand rupees. They took those papers with the sole intention of converting them into tissues for Rahul Baba. The overzealous PR managers saw some opportunity to market the generous side of RG in this incident and rolled out a narrative depicting RG as the messiah of boys across the country selling newspapers at traffic signals.

Soon this story found many takers much to the delight of PR guys. But their joy proved to be short-lived, and; alarm bells began to ring when the news that the crew of a foreign news channel was looking for this newspaper boy for an interview reached the PR chaps. They pressed the panic button and came out with the story of this boy having been picked up for education, and; hence unavailable to appear before media.

According to sources close to Rahul Gandhi, the ministers are unhappy with these turns of the events. They know that the end is nigh and the last days in the office ought to be spent plundering the national wealth. There is no time left for them to provide education to the boy hand-picked by Baba at a traffic signal let alone arrange employment for lucky boy’s beleaguered father whose dream is to become a doctor when he grows up.

The railways minister Mr. Pawan Bansal is the latest example of how government is effectively implementing poverty eradication programme. The opposition is asking for his resignation. Why? Because it is alleged that Mr. Bansal’s nephew accepted a bribe for recruiting top official/s in railways. How can we make uncle pay for the alleged sins of his nephew? As such CBI is overburdened with work load. Shouldn’t we spare a thought for hapless CBI before tossing every case of rape, murder and bribery into its overflowing basket?

Government is busy fire fighting on many fronts right from Sarabjit Singh’s ghastly murder in a Pak jail to Chinese intrusion into our territory. Amidst all this ha ha hoopla, where does it have time to sack Mr. Bansal whose life long dream is to eradicate poverty for all his generations to come after him? Let’s assume for a moment that PM cracks his whip and Mr. Bansal finds himself out, where would the suitable replacement for such an able minister come from?

Now almost all the leaders have successfully eradicated poverty for their next generations. Nobody will show willingness to step into his large shoes that will be difficult to fill for obvious reasons. Government is well aware of this challenge that may arise following unceremonious sacking of Mr. Bansal who is a complete family man as far as the Indian tradition is concerned.

People of this country have heard of minister helping their brothers and sons and daughters in their endeavour to eradicate poverty. But Mr. Bansal has gone one step ahead by extending support to his nephew. The last thing such an honourable man deserves is receive a red slip from his masters.

On the contrary, the more accolades we give, the less they will be for such a man of impeccable integrity. Mr. Bansal has done one more remarkable thing for which he has come in for praise from all the leaders cutting across party lines. That is when protesters demanding his resignation outside his residence were baking in the sun, he ordered cold showers on them so that they could brave the blazing sun and continue protest unabated.

Does such a caring man deserve the sack? How thoughtful of him. In fact, here’s a man who should be invited to Wharton to give lecture on how to successfully eradicate poverty in less than a year and ensure enormous wealth for generations to come. Our PM can spot the hidden talent and persist with it in a bid to brazen it out no matter what the opposition demands.

When country is ruled and run by such merchants of coals and 2G spectrum, it is the people of this country who should master the art of brazening it out. Government’s juggernaut ought to continue to roll and nobody should throw spanner. Whoever dares do so will only increase the workload of CBI. PM won’t step down. Ministers implementing poverty eradication programmes won’t call it quits. The status quo will continue till the day of reckoning after a year.

BJP claims to be a party with a difference. In the recent past, its detractors have twisted this punch line to take potshots at party they hate the most. They try to poke fun at BJP and make their dislike known for it by twisting its punch line from party with difference to party within differences.

But today BJP proved that it is indeed a party with a difference. After announcing the new members of its much talked about Parliamentary Board yesterday, on April Fools day it also announced its Prime Ministerial candidate for the upcoming General Elections in 2014.

Mr. Rajnath Singh, the party president, held a press conference at the party head quarter in the Capital today and made the announcement by reading out a carefully worded written statement. “Today the top BJP leadership has decided unanimously that its prime ministerial candidate will be Rahul Gandhi. All the party leaders have come to a conclusion that if India wants to witness a revolution in development and infrastructure, if India wants to root out corruption, only one leader has it in him to do so. And that leader is none other than Shri Rahul Gandhi.”

Mr. Singh declined to answer visibly shocked reporters’ questions citing the lack of time due to his tight schedule much to the disappointment of the reporters. Soon after the announcement, he was whisked away in his car to an undisclosed location. His mobile phone was also switched off at the time of going to the press.

All senior party leaders of BJP are tight lipped about this mysterious and baffling announcement. What has prompted the party to endorse Rahul Gandhi’s prime ministerial candidature is intriguing all BJP supporters. The party workers are a shaken lot. They came to know about this development only when the TV news channels broke the news earlier on in the morning.

Die hard BJP supporters brushed this news item aside thinking that the TV channels were playing April Fools’ Day prank on their gullible viewers. And that soon BJP stalwarts would take the wind out of the sails of these news channels by issuing a presser to clarify the rumours doing the round. But till now no clarification from BJP on the announcement of Rahul Gandhi as PM candidate is forthcoming. This has sent the rumour mills into a tizzy. Is BJP a divided house? Where’s party’s development mascot the Gujarat CM Shri Narendra Modi? These and many more questions India is asking.

The Congress Camp was visibly jubilant. Overzealous party workers were seen as bursting the firecrackers outside Rahul Gandhi’s official residence. The sweets were also distributed at all the Congress party offices across the country. Quite surprisingly, neither Rahul Gandhi nor his senior party leaders have addressed media to give their reaction. When this reporter tried to interview one of the senior Congress leaders reportedly close to Rahul Gandhi, he declined to say anything on the record. Off the record he said on the condition of anonymity that it appeared to him that Mr. Singh had joined Congress and he had made that announcement at madam’s behest. But he also admitted that no such circular he had received from the High Command, and he was merely taking a wild guess.

Those who know Mr. Narendra Modi are sure that this is his brainchild. By announcing Rahul Gandhi as PM candidate, BJP has taken the fight to the enemy camp. Mr. Modi, the Hindu Hriday Samrat, is the indisputable choice in the race for country’s top job.As far as BJP is concerned,  it has indeed shown a greater degree of maturity so far by announcing the Congress man as its PM candidate.

Now the ball is in Congress’ court. If Congress has any shame left, without wasting time it should announce Mr. Narendra Modi aka NaMo as its prime minister candidate. That will even the score. The balance will be restored. And the country will witness the tightly fought General Election in next few months. Mr. Narendra Modi will lead BJP to a historic win and occupy the coveted post of PM. This is what India wants.

My name is Robert Vadra and I am not corrupt. Nobody knows the excruciating pain I have been experiencing following the revelations of my alleged involvement in the corruption by Kejrival and co.

I am a patriotic citizen of India. I am a son-in-law of Italy. Had I wanted, I would have established my business empire in Italy. But I want the country of my birth to benefit from my out-of-box and underhand business deals. This is precisely why I chose to be in India.

Look at what my fellow country men have been doing to me. They should never bite the hands that feed them. My hands have grown so wide and strong that they can reach any nook and corner of India and feed the mouths where food doesn’t reach.

Following these allegations, do these morons think that I will be interested in doing social work any longer? They have dug their own grave. They have burnt all their bridges with prosperity. But I am safe as I have uncountable wealth stashed away in the lockers of the Swiss banks.

Nobody knows the truth how and from where these revelations have materialised. The Congress supporters are naive enough to think that the BJP is directing the Kejrival and Co from behind the scene ahead of the Gujarat assembly polls.

Alas! How misguided these die hard fans are!

The BJP is too busy dousing fire in its own backyard with so many prime ministerial candidates entering the fray. Then who is responsible for the latest skeleton to appear from nowhere? Well, the fact is stranger than fiction, isn’t it? I am the writer, director and producer of the magnum opus that is playing itself out on the TV screen near you.

But then you want to ask me why someone like me would want to blow his own chances of becoming the brother-in-law of future PM or if the god is willing, maybe the husband of future PM by getting maligned as a corrupt businessman. Well, there you got it.

I am sick of playing the second fiddle to these bumbling Gandhis. I want to become neither the brother-in-law of future of PM nor husband. The fact is I want to become the PM of this country. The late Feroz Gandhi and I hold discussions in my dreams. It is he who wants to see me as the PM of India. He wants me to fulfill his dream of becoming the PM as he strongly feels up there in the Heaven that the Gandhi dynasty has run its course and the time for another dynasty has come. The Vadra dynasty fits the bill perfectly.

Amidst all this hullabaloo Soniaji got very upset and expressed her desire to speak to me on phone. Now the PM is scared of her who takes her calls even when he is evacuating himself in the rest room. I decided to show the lady who the real boss is and kept her waiting on line for half an hour during which I had a perfect head to toe body massage from Thai masseuse and smoked three Havana cigars.

The lady sounded agitated and feared that her government was on the brink of collapse. I pacified her by saying that all the attars of Arabia might not be able to wash away the stink of corruption her government has raised but certainly all my money can save her government from toppling. She sounded relaxed and hung up before advising me to keep clear of the press.

If only she knew what I have been up to.

Even as Salmanji and Manishji hop from one TV studio to another to defend me, I am counting wades of crisp currency notes meant to be sent away to the Swiss Bank lockers where my money will continue to grow by leaps and bounds.

So much for Kejrival and his crusade against corruption.


Wow....!!! This Much Love.....!!!!

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