Respected Honourable Justice Katju Sir,
The world would have been such a sadder place, had you not been around. You have been tirelessly entertaining your countrymen for past few months. Though 90% of Indians are idiots, they love you for providing hilarious moments full of the humour that has come to be the very hallmark of your personality.
The entire film fraternity has expressed outrage and shock at the Supreme Court that has upheld the film actor Sanjay Dutt’s conviction. The court has granted him five years rigorous imprisonment. By now everyone knows what Sanjay Dutt was found guilty of doing. There’s no need to repeat those details here.
Sir, you have really stirred the hornet’s nest by demanding that Sanjay Dutt should be forgiven. According to you he has already suffered enough. His ordeals have become the stuff the legends are made up of. The country is surprised to know that you have a soft spot in your heart for Sanjay Dutt. That’s really so nice of you.
Ever since you’ve observed that 90% of Indians are idiots, those 90% of Indians had been wondering whether you belonged to that group of 90% or not. But now the whole country has heaved a sigh of relief that you too are very much a part of the elite club of those 90% idiots.
You are seeking pardon for Sanjay Dutt on various grounds. Those grounds indicate how deeply you have studied the enigma called Sanjay Dutt before dashing off that letter to the governor of Maharashtra. Please forgive me for being obnoxious. But the fact is Sanjay Dutt is a father of three children, and not two; as you have wrongly written in your letter.
This is, however, a small error that can be overlooked since film stars tend to have colourful lives. And the number of how many children they have fathered is always under constant speculation. Having said this the most hilarious ground is since Sanjay Dutt revived the memories of Bapu – the father of our nation – through his portrayal of Munnabhai character in Lagey Raho Munnabhai, he is eligible for mercy.
This ground has left no one in doubt that we Indians are really idiots. Do we really need someone like Sanjay Dutt to remind us of Bapu’s huge legacy? If we want to remember Bapu, all we need to do is take a look at a ten rupee note. Bapu is aways there for us printed on the Indian currency notes observing silently how we spend our money.
Sir, you are a man of impeccable integrity. You neither seek (intentionally) publicity nor spend money. This is precisely why it took a convicted brat like Sanju Baba to remind you of Bapu. More power to your idiocy, sir. You have made every idiot world wide hugely proud of you.
Please continue to entertain your countrymen like this forever. In these strife torn and inflation ridden times, all we can afford is a few moments of harmless laughter. Only you can provide us those lighter moments. I would also like to congratulate you for showing the publicity hungry masses how to generate publicity without coming across as someone who is hungry for publicity. How to manufacture controversies has come to be an art. You are the master of manufacturing controversies and thereby gaining unlimited publicity.
Kudos to your penchant for managing to stay in the limelight through all the seasons.
Best Wishes for future heroics.
Yours Truly.
An Idiot.
3 | Viki Raghuvanshi (@Lohana1983)
Dream 
March 22, 2013 at 6:57 pm
Very well written. Angst ridden satire. Thanks.