“Ra-One” – The Big Game

Posted on: October 22, 2011


Shah Rukh Khan aka The Badshah of Bollywood aka The King Khan  has been going all out to promote the most expensive Bollywood film of all times “Ra-One”. Shah Rukh Khan has reportedly spent a whopping 150 crores on the making of “Ra-One”. Surprisingly he looks forward to spending close to 100 crores on the marketing and publicity of the film prior to its release. The King Khan has been apparently nervous at the way his arch-rival’s Eid release “Bodyguard” has performed at the box-office. He gives credit to Salman Khan’s clever marketing strategy of rushing to the US on the eve of the release of Bodyguard (Salman Khan reportedly visited the US to undergo surgery for Trigeminal Neuralgia) for the success of Bodyguard. He feels his fans felt sympathy for their beloved Bhaijan and decided to make the film super-hit while the news of Salman being operated upon in the faraway land of America kept hitting the headlines at regular intervals. Everything was timed perfectly and being monitored and micro-managed by Bhaijan himself.

Shah Rukh Khan has been pressurising the think-tank of “Ra-One” to come out with some innovative strategy that touches the emotional chord of his fans so that they go all out to make “Ra-One” the biggest hit of the decade. He has reportedly set the deadline for this innovative strategy to come into existence before 25th October. The Ra-One think tank has been working overtime to formulate the strategy that steals the hearts of King Khan’s millions of fans world-wide. It has already come out with a dozen strategies but none of them has left the King Khan impressed. He wants one unique strategy, like, throughout the making of “Ra-One” he suffered from severe pain on the nail of his right thumb that refused to grow. Now the King Khan has gone to the jungles of Africa in search of some ancient herb that cures the nail pain. But that herb is rarely found and many fear it is now almost extinct. King Khan would have none of it. As soon as “Ra-One” reached the cinema-halls across the world, he has left for Africa and nobody knows his whereabouts. He has given enough suggestions to the think-tank and he expects the strategy to be ready in next 48 hours.

He has been touring all the studios of TV channels. He has appeared in almost all the popular serials and programmes. He doesn’t mind over-exposure on the eve of the release of “Ra-One” since he firmly believes in the motto “what is seen is sold”. He has cast both Rajnikanth and Amitabh Bachchan in the guest roles in “Ra-One”. Now the rumours are doing the round that the King Khan approached Mr. Balasaheb Thackeray , Mr. Narendra Modi  and Mayawati to appear in the re-mix version of Chhamak Chhalo that will be shown before “The End” appears on the screen. All the three have declined to accept the offer citing the creative differences. Sources close to them say they were miffed at King Khan for proposing to show them towards the end. They insisted on appearing during the time when the credits roll in the starting.

The King Khan knows the powerful effect of twitter. He has paid a huge sum of money to twitter. On the eve of the Ra-One release, only Ra-One, G-One, Kareena Kapoor, Anubhav Sinha, Arjun Rampal, Akon, Chhamak Chhallo and cast, characters and incidents related to Ra-One will trend world-wide on twitter. King Khan has struck a direct deal with God for not calling any well-known celebrity to heaven one week prior and post the release of “Ra-One” as we have seen in the recent past when Steve Jobs and Jagjit Singh passed away, how twitterati poured its grief on twitter. He doesn’t want that to happen. Every living soul in the world must have only one word on the lips and that word has to be “Ra-One”.

Last but not the least, the Team Anna is being roped in to give positive sound bites for “Ra-One”. It has already seen the premier of “Ra-One” and now the Team Anna will shortly call a press-conference where it will declare that India needs a super-hero like “Ra-One” to arm-twist UPA-II into passing the Jan Lokpal Bill. Shah Rukh Khan believes that this will result in the tremendous publicity for “Ra-One” and he will laugh all the way to the bank.

The man is desperate and he is doing all he can to make “Ra-One” the super-hit film of the year, of the decade and of the century too. He can call the shots till the film releases. After that it’s public who will decide the fate of “Ra-One”.


2 Responses to "“Ra-One” – The Big Game"

This is in a very bad taste!
Imagine if u had spent more 150 crores of your money on a project, what would i expect u to do?? Shut up and sit quiet?
Its always easy to ridicule some ones effort, it takes a lot of heart to back him for his endeavour!
Tell me one actor in this entire country who would have spent the same amount to bring this kind of technology in India, developed by Indians??
and above all i feel his marketing strategies are far better than Aamir Khan’s cheap antics of shaving people’s Head and parading the local theater employee bald in front of the audience!

@ Ryan Thanks Ryan for reading my piece and leaving your comment. SRK is a genius. There’s no doubt about it. I am sure you are one of his big fans. He has worked hard to bring this kind of technology to our country. May God reward his efforts by making “Ra-One” a super-hit film of the decade! Amen.

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Wow....!!! This Much Love.....!!!!

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